Friday, September 2


Have you ever watched a kitten sleep?

I mean really watched?
A little ear twitch, some air-running...
If not, you should because then you will want to wake them up and scratch their chin:).

On that cozy, cuddly note I want to share with you a few things that will ALWAYS give me nightmares:

My Mandolin slicer.

Goodness this is the thing bad dreams are made of..but I still use it.
Until I am able to slice potatoes paper-thin with a knife I will have to pull this bad boy out.

I have lost many a fingernail and fingertip to these devil tools.
Then I have to stop and call a medic....
Puts me so far behind.

I literally have to give myself a pep talk before I open the cabinet where it resides.
You got this.
Just stop BEFORE you get to your fingers..

Someone Chasing Me..Up Stairs...
How close are they?
2 steps away or 3?  It makes a difference.
They're close..wait no they're not..

What if they touch my leg?!
I want to sit down and hug the rail.

They frown on that in most public places, just so you know.

Revolving Doors.
So, when I was little...
Who am I kidding, I was born with rolls on my ARMS!
Inch worm.

Anyway, when I was younger my mom, grandparents, sister and I went to Nashville and stayed at the Opryland Hotel.
I was really very young.
All I remember about the trip was playing dolls with my older sister Malinda in the backseat of the Cadillac, during which I very nearly got carsick, AND the revolving door trying to eat me.

True story.
Its evil plan was to nab me by wedging my flip flop mid flip under the door and then eat me alive.

I might have screamed but I definitely cried.

Luckily most buildings with revolving doors also have normal doors.
Obviously I'm not the only one scared.
I use those.

Any kind.
They give me chills.

I can deal with cow manure, retained placenta, etc.
I can't deal with bugs.

You get cow manure on you? Guess what. It STAYS in the same place.
It doesn't crawl somewhere and try to make a home or have babies.
There's a thought.

Giving Someone Food Poisoning.
No one in particular, just anyone.
It is one of my biggest fears for someone to call me the day after they eat what I have cooked and tell me how sick they were that night.

Oh man.
I only baked for a long time because of this.

I made rack of lamb last night for dinner and *fingers crossed* everyone seems to be OK.

I also made scalloped potatoes which is exactly what made me think of writing this.
No fingers were harmed.

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