There are a few things that one must know about themselves to, oh, make life easier on the daily.
An example? How far past the E you can still go without running out of gas.
I generally try to be on the phone with my honey while rolling, on a prayer, into the gas station...just in case I don't make it. I might say something like, "Gosh! I didn't even notice how close I am to being out!" all the while getting very.serious about when to throw it in neutral.
Another important thing for every gal to know is how early is too early to talk to your non-morning-person spouse. Like, at all.
When I wake up, give me time to get my eyeballs in then game.on.
I'm cheerful, I'm witty, I crack jokes and occasionally dance.
I am married to a non-morning-person honey who has an even NON-non-morning-person son. Holy moly.
I have taken Caden to school a few times and do you know how hard it is for me not to chat on the way to drop him off??
But it don't. Lip zipped. Then it's "BYEILOVEYOUHAVEANICEDAY!" as soon as he gets out.
Knowing what time to go grocery shopping on a Saturday is as good as finding the golden ticket, as far as I'm concerned, especially when it's Wal-Mart.
SPEAKing of Wal-Mart, I happened to learn something new about myself there just this morning!
I had just been to the gym, where I had possibly the greatest workout in a year, and was on a workout-high when I got to my destination. The parking lot seemed OK, so I parked and proceeded to do my non-grocery browsing first.
Normally, I go to Wal-Mart and get in then get out as fast as possible.
Today I was all eh, I got some time.
When I was about halfway through the grocery shopping portion, I became transfixed by the beef broth selection.
So many choices.
The aisle had been a bit crowded but I thought, really who is gonna fight me for my spot?
Then it happened.
It was light at first, as if someone had brushed against me.
I would have noticed if it had been a gnat. I don't want to be randomly touched. Ever.
I immediately told myself it's OK. No biggie. I'm in a good mood, I'm sure it was an accident.
Then, the "brush" was still there. Stillllllllll.
The brush quickly became A LOT OF TOUCHING. As in, leaning on my left arm touching.
As in THE POINT WHERE I HIT SOMEONE.
Welcome to my breaking point.
I didn't know what I was going to do exactly but my right hand was formed in a fist.
Just sayin. I don't know.
My head snapped-along with my body-in a split second to the left and while I still had control (thankfully) I recognized who it was.
It was my friend Brad.
And not too far behind him was his lovely wife Tammy.
I'm not sure what I bought after that.
I should probably sit on the front row tomorrow.
Love and self control,