I have already been the past two days straight and I can tell you with confidence they have no canned pumpkin in Maryville.
I know you have been wondering.
I wasn't even looking for it really, but I tend to "check" on things before I need them.
Keeps me from flippin' my ever-lovin' lid at the Kroger stock boy.
It also enables me to constantly have on hand everything from individually wrapped caramels to polenta.
Which, by the by, would not go well together.
The other "up"side to having these oddities on hand is that I can make things on a whim.
Truffles? Ice cream? S'Mores?
So I apparently have to take my cow-smelling glory to the store every.single.day. because I can buy water chestnuts but not toilet paper.
And LetMeJustSay, is it really necessary to make a bottle of fabric softener as big as a detergent bottle?
Those of us who currently have 2 bottles of said softener and ZERO bottles of detergent Don'tThinkSo.
Yesterday I was on a mission.
A Paula Dean mission.
My mission was to leave work at 5 and fry everything I could until 7:45.
A ruined contact and oil burn on my wrist says "mission accomplished".
Why? You ask.
Because Chuck wanted fried chicken and do you even need an reason to fry something?
Plus I had an inspiration.
Monday night I made a vanilla bean-cinnamon ice cream base...but it needed something...
I mean it would have been great and all..but it needed to be taken to the next level.
We all know that the level above great is...pie!!
Apple pie to be exact.
So I ended up doing this great thing....
I made Apple Pie ice cream!
I almost messed up though.
I made waaaaaaayyyy too much of the "apple pie filling" however this resulted in the second fantastic thing I have done in the past two days...(The first was the ice cream...duh).
I made fried apple pies!!!!
Can I get an Amen?
You see I, for some inexplicable reason, used 5 apples instead of 1 when I was making the filling.
Yes, that's 4 too many.
So I took my leftover filling and added cornstarch to it...
Then I used my nonexistent ice cream scoop..because I don't have 3 hands..
And put a little heaven in the crust.
Just a little though.
Then I got an 85 year old lady to hold the thing...
...and seal up the edges.
Thank you Edna.
Then the fry daddy took them to the next level.
I didn't take a picture because the first one didn't seal well resulting in a lot of popping and sizzling and finally the inability to use my right eye.
I now go by the name Lefty.
Lefty Smalls to be exact.
Left Smalls and Edna did some great things to these here pies.
They sprinkled them with angel dust..or powdered sugar as some people call it.
Then, THEN they got the bright idea to serve them alongside that there ice cream..
You know, the Apple Pie ice cream?
That's the one.
And the two lived happily ever after.
*The ice cream recipe is mine and I put it on the TastyKitchen website under "Mashed Potatoes and Gravy" just kidding...it's under "Apple Pie Ice Cream".
The fried pies were a recipe I got from Fine Cooking.