Sunday, August 7

Exhibit A

So I never claimed to be the most patient person in the world.
Generally speaking, in any rational, logical situation I have some extraordinary patience!
It's true!

Unfortunately "rational" and "logical" are only said with an eye roll around here.
Expect the best, heck even fool yourself into thinking it will happen..that's how I roll.
BUT prepare for irrational and illogical..because that's how it goes.

Especially when the people who work for you don't speak English..and you don't speak stupid their language.

Exhibit A:
The best way to describe our Bobcat skid steer is by thinking of it as a "boil on the butt of humanity".
(Great quote, great movie.)

There is always something wrong with it.
It's "Claudie's Bobcat".
It's called that because Claudie found it and instead of going with the nice, used, still under warranty machine I picked out, the Bossman went with Claudie's..cuz it was cheaper.
And cheap is what he got.

About a month ago we had to start plugging it up to the charger EVERY time we were finished using it.
If we didn't it would not start..and I would kick it.
And it still wouldn't start.

I know you know this, but the battery on one of these worthless pieces of equipment is in the back..
So you don't see it right off.
But you SHOULD.
You know, when you are walking around it realFast to check the tires...which you SHOULD always do.

We have a JD skidsteer as well but I refuse to get it out and run the risk of having both of them out of service at the same time.
I'm a hoarder.

When we started pluggin it up I told Tim that if he ever sees it plugged up, to make sure the extension cord is wrapped across the front, spider-web style, just in case.
He looked at me like I had two noses...
Then remembered how many times he has seen the ding-dongs around here drive the Bobcat around on flat tires.
Those are always good times.

Last week the guy who does most of the Bobcat operating and manual labor around the dairy barn exhibied an inordinant amount of stupidity.
So I cut his hours down a bit.
ICanOnlyHanldeHimForSoLong and there aren't enough hours in the day to fix what he breaks.

He had just come back from his hour break before the pm milking, and when he clocked-in I informed him of the change in hours.
He thanked me 14 times...
I cut his hours....and he thanked me.
(I just needed to break it down for ya...)
Maybe he can only handle me for so long.

After offering me his first-born, he shot out of the office, jumped ON the extension cord IN the seat of the Bobcat, took OFF and all I heard was KA-BAM!

Everything happened so fast.
I don't even remember leaving the office, or when exactly the insurance adjuster from ADM pulled up....

But I DO remember saying "thwtuawrf! WHATisWRONGwithYOU????!!!! thejbauyklw!!"
And how my worker S.M.I.L.E.D and shrugged and said "I sawy"..
THEN I turned, looked at the innocent bystander from ADM who was there to look at the crops and said..
OK, yelled...
"YOU don't need to be up HERE! YOU are looking for TIM! TAKE the FIRST gravel drive on your LEFT and TimWillBeDownThere!"
He smiled. WHY is everyone smiling?

Evidently my mind erased the "intensity" of the moment, so the next day I asked Tim if the guy found him.
Tim: "Yeah, he found me. Said some little blonde gal was PO'd and yelled at him"....

About that...

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