However, in my world, which we all know is far from reality, I am a flippin rockstar.
I don't sing..though I am A-mazing at vocal electric guitar, I don't dance..unless its A. 80's night, B. TO-TAL darkness, C. I see someone else dancing who I cannot possibly be worse than, and I can't play any instrument..unless you count air drums in which case I should get paid.
Oh yeah. You wanna feel like a rockstar, be the one who feeds everything.
The fairy of the fare.
The nutrient nurse.
The giver of grub.
Like being the lunch lady at elementary school on pizza day, or PCO day as Beenie would prefer(Pizza, Corn,Okra).
I would venture to guess they know exactly how I feel...everyone is ALWAYS happy to see them.
My calves(and cats) are up waiting for me at 6am and by 3pm..and if I walk around them at any time in between they think it's Christmas.
I talk to them. They moo. It's actually more of a pitiful IHaven'tEatenForThreeWeeks..Mea.
Nevertheless, milk lady brings the happy. Even when EVERYTHING, including the gravel drive, is covered in ice. She.Delivers.
That happened this past winter. I made it to work on the wings of my Tacoma, grabbed a bucket of salt, and proceeded to step step..fling! Step step..fling! Until I made it to the calves.
Better than the postman.
I feed my cows at night, Eddie does the morning feeding
(Think 2ft gate..).
Cow feeding has to be relatively precise for a number of reasons which I won't bore you with. You have to weigh out each ingredient, using a loader, into the mixing wagon.
Like using measuring cups into a mixer..except slightly larger..
It's hard to be precise with a loader that has a 6ft bucket
It goes mineral, cottonseed,hominy,distillers,corn silage and rye silage for both groups.
A couple of weeks ago I couldn't get the augers in the wagon to come on so I went and got Eddie..
Me: "I push the clutch and pull the lever and it just bogs down.."
Eduardo: "Is there a tire in it?"
Ed: "One time I had a tire in it."
Me: Tire? That's not on my list. I don't go to the 'tire pile' and get 123 lbs of tire..ah geez..tire. I can't think about this now. "Nevermind".
Seriously people sometimes you just have to let it go.
The wagon is big, big like I can't see around it big. Big like if you drive up behind me I WILL back flat over you, big.
The cows know when it's feeding time. When I come around the corner with that wagon they all pile up at the gate so they can see me.
The feed lady.
You know in movies where a tour bus drives through a bunch of people and they all reach their hands out to touch it?
That's exactly what it's like.
Except the tour bus is a feed wagon and they use their tongues..not hands...boy that would be an interesting movie...
It drops the feed like so...
By the way, that is perfection.
And if you are lucky you are one of the first to be finished milking...
A Jersey. Always a Jersey.