Wednesday, June 15

Keys to Working on a Farm: Play Dumb

Unless you are already dumb, that is.
If you're uncomfortable with that just act like you don't speak English.  That usually works too.

Once you have wrapped your head around the "every man for himself" frame of mind we have around here, you will be ready for the second key.

Ever wonder why we don't expect much from Eddie?  Because he has mastered the second key.  He wrote the book on it.  Not to mention that thing on the end of his nose keeps me from spending much time making him the center of attention.  ew.

The second key to being a successful farm hand is NEVER admit dumb.  Do you want to know why this is so important?  It keeps the phrase "then that can be your job now" to a minimum.

I detest that phrase.  Oh!  Really!? Thanks because I NEEDED ANOTHER JOB.

Somehow I have managed not to have to drive a dump truck each year when it's time to chop silage...that is until this year. 
This year it wasn't even posed as a question..the boss man told Tim I was going to drive the 1928 Model-T dump truck(heh just kidding) when it came time to chop rye.
Oh boy..he really must love me a lot...That's all I could think each time it backfired, started smoking, overheated and even when the brakes went out..that guy, my dad, must think the world of me..

He thinks so much of my driving ability that now he wants to get a big truck and have me start hauling our soybeans and such TO A DIFFERENT STATE. What a guy...
And do you know what he said to Tim when he threw that brilliant idea out??? Hmmmm? That's right...
"That can be her job now".
If I wasn't so naturally amazing at everything I wouldn't have this problem..hehehe..kidding.
The silver lining is that I would be able to talk on the I have always wanted to do that.  My handle could be "Dairy Queen"...
I could say things like "break break..this is the DQ. I'm east bound and down keep your eyes peeled for any smokey bears..come on back". 
Don't act like that trucker-lingo didn't knock your socks off. 

I have found that the easiest way to play dumb without actually acting dumb is by breaking things.  I broke 2 tractors on Monday.  Tim fixed one and Eddie fixed the other.  This was after I smashed my hand, so by that point I felt like it was in everyones best interest if I called it quits.
I didn't really break them..they just quit working and instead of tinkering around and possibly getting them going again I called in the "professionals" so if something bad happened it would be their fault.  I wasn't born yesterday ya know.

That way if the boss asked why something wasn't working I could tell him that Eddie was supposed to fix it because I didn't know how.

See how beautifully that works?

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Lay it on me..