Thursday, May 10

Keys to Working on a Farm: Act Nonchalant

Just do it, trust me.
Why, you ask?
Because, they're gonna do it.

Yeah it will be done right in front of you.
OR, embarrassingly enough, right in front of you and someone else.

It's like watching TV with your parents and something totally inappropriate it.

Hold your breath?
Chuckle...noyoucan'tdothat!  Ya weirdo.
Act like it didn't happen?

Just act like it didn't happen.
...while holding your breath.

Luckily..I use that term doesn't happen, like eva, here at the dairy barn.
I don't use a bull to breed my cows...I use my left arm and right hand (that's where "luckily" looses its steam).
Now the cats are a different story.

Picture yourself standing outside talking to some sales rep who has decided to grace you with his waste of space presence.
While you are actively not listening, the big yellow tom cat waltzes up to the white cat (whose eyes are way too close together) and suddenly your morals are questioned.
What do you do?

-Watch? Ew. NO! This is not National Geographic!

-Break them up? Sure.  If you want to look like a scene from Tommy Boy with a cat latched onto your leg.

-Look the guy dead on and say, "What are they doing?".  Wait.  If you could do this with a serious expression I would nominate you for an Oscar.

-Scream "NO MEANS NO YELLOW CAT!".  This is an idea, it would take care of the salesman that's for sure, but it seems a bit over the top.

-Fist pump, high-five the guy and say "Yessss!  I've been hoping for a yellow kitten!".  Only do this if you can keep a straight face.  Make it believable.

-Act nonchalant?  This is probably the better idea.  Acting like it's no biggie is probably the most mature way to handle it.  If the salesman gives you a look, respond by giving him the "What? Don't you know where babies come from?" look.  

Listen, I am only telling you this because you need to be prepared.
You should really be thanking me.  You'rewelcome.

We are really coming along on this job-shadowing thing!



  1. I would have looked him deadintheeye and said, "Since you're here, you get pick of the litter! Congratulations!"

  2. I sooooo needed to laugh like this bahahahahahahahahah


Lay it on me..