Tuesday, April 3

Moving Day and Marshmallow Hoarding

...go hand-in-hand.
At least for me, they do.

Ever had to move?
I bet you have.
Was it an enjoyable experience?
If so, is it because you hired someone?
Don't be ashamed...you can tell me...

Last Saturday Chuck and I made the move to our new house...and I learned things that I shall keep neatly tucked into my back pocket until they are needed.
Thank you.

Chuck has been living in his apartment for around 7 years, that's s-e-v-e-n years of stuff.
You know what I'm talking about.
The stuff that he accumulates and, like any other guy, doesn't ever get rid of.

Take incense for example.
Let's let that image sink in....

I'll never forget the day I walked into his apartment and immediately time-warped into That 70's Show.
You know when you smell something familiar, and cannot help but have a flashback to whenever it was you first smelled that aroma?

As I entered the room, I expected to see him laying on the couch with his Birkenstock-clad feet propped up on the table, wearing bell-bottoms and rose-colored glasses.
It reminded me of lava lamps, and that store in the mall where all the weird people shop.
It was like a smell, to cover up a smell....to cover up a smell.
I couldn't help myself when I blurted out, "Is that incense??!" (I even wrinkled up my nose.)
...that's when my future-husband smiled at me...likeitwasnormal.

I'll never let that die.

I threw that away on Friday night...in a separate bag that I taped up so NO ONE could EVER know that it came from us.
So embarrassing.

The second thing I did was begin to de-safari his bedroom.
I started with the Lion King print above the bed, and followed with the animal figurines....
Two by two they went, all lined up...giraffsesesesss, lions, tigers...all ready to board the big cardboard "ark" labeled "rummage sale".

I remember hearing Chuck say, at least a dozen times, "Man! I don't get to keep anything!".
He was correct.

Really what I was doing was helping him.
I was drop-kicking him into the twenty-first century, one stick of incense atatime.
I could have made a life-size wax figurine of him, using all of the old used candles I found.

I could be mistaken, but I think I caught him shed a tear as I vetoed the black, fuzzy house shoes and sent them on their way...
But honey! You don't even have a smoking jacket and you don't drink scotch....

I did find out a few things about myself....
Should the world come to an end, if anyone needs spaghetti noodles OR marshmallows...I'm your gal.
We don't even eat spaghetti.

The scary thing is...I don't recall buying all of the bags of mini marshmallows.
We don't make s'mores!

I also have more holey socks than the Vatican, and enough half-empty bottles of lotion to make an elephants skin as smooth as a babies' butt.
Contacting the zoo today.

But we made it!
We are pretty well moved in, and I have successfully stuck all of Chuck's things in drawers making them virtually impossible to locate.

Anyone need a telescope or snorkel?



  1. That fully explains Chuck's laid-back nature...

  2. I can always use another telescope. Send it home with the simpedogwhisperer please....

  3. Wow. It's a wonder I let him into the circle...


  4. But he got to replaced all the throw aways with a horse.


Lay it on me..