My New Best Friend

Yesterday I had to come to work earlier than usual in order to help my milk tester.
See, my milk tester...we will call him Sal, because it sounds very movie-like.
Anyway, my milk tester-Sal, doesn't get around real well, so I come in and help him.
Imma real jewel like that.

Sal is a talker, but I'll be honest here and tell you that I only actually hear 35% of what Sal says.
Not because I'm not listening, but because his voice doesn't carry....and it's 4 am.

Sal was talkin' up a storm yesterday, and by the time we were finished with the first group of cows(112 of the ladies) it was time for me to take the cotton out of my ears and go feed calves.

So I did.
Duh.

Anyway, when I got back up to the dairy barn to help Sal with the second group, I noticed him sitting at my desk(I use th term "desk" very loosely), staring at my computer.

Me: "Uhhh...hey, whatcha doin'?"
Sal:  "Well, I was putting numbers in the computer and the darn thing just froze up on me!  So...I shut 'er down, and started it back up!"

-Now, I don't know how you feel about other people using your computer and "shutting her down", but IFreakedOutInside.

Shut 'er down?  Like pushed the button?  But WHY? "She" never freezes up on me in my dairy program! What.Have.You. DONE?!

(When the milk tester comes he has to enter the cows milk weights into the computer program called PCDART...just FYI.)

Maybe I was physically shaking, or maybe Sal could sense the volcanic activity inside me and decided to make a run for it before she blew!  Whatever the reason, he got up and stepped aside and let me have the controls.

I opened up PCDART and nothing.
No cow numbers.
No information.
No.Nothing.

That's YEARS of information on over 200 cows.

Breathe...BeNICE...Breathe...BeNICE!

I (calmly) looked at Sal and opened my mouth so that Minnie Mouse could say; "Why don't you go start the second group while I fix what you broke deal with this?"

Mmmmmk? Mmmmmmk.

When I started breathing again I called Raleigh, NC for some PCDART tech support.

Now, I am NOT racist, prejudiced, or ambidextrous...but the guy who answered had to have been Indian.

They open for business at 7 am, I called at 7 and he won the lottery.

I couldn't understand him at first, so I didn't know if I was calling the right place.
Instead of, oh I don't know..asking?  I let Minnie speak again...

Minnie:  "Hey, uh..ummmm, I'm having trouble with my PCDART this morning."
Guy who sounds like Raj from "Big Bang Theory": "O, and what trouble do you seem to be having?"

So I told Raj what Sal did, in a way as to convey the fact that I didn't think Sal and Bill Gates ever shared the same office.

Raj: "O.K., what kind of operating seestem do you have? Microsoft, WindowsXP...?"
Me:  "A.C.T.ually, it's windowsvista....."

Raj:  "..........................................and who am I speaking with?"
Me:  "Rachael the last Windows Vista owner on earth."

Raj:  "siiiiiiigggghhhhh...............O, Rashal,Rashal,Rashal."
I felt bad for waking up that morning.

Raj:  "Rashal, you koll me at seven in da morning, before my koffee, and you bling me weendows veesta junK."

Me:  "I'm sorry."
Yes, I apologized to the tech support guy.
He made me feel like I totally did something I shouldn't have done.

Raj: "Raaaaaashallllll, veesta is not a good seestem.  I should not have come to work today.  But I will see if I can feex it."

So, I downloaded a program that made him able to be on my computer while I watched and got a little seasick from watching the mouse move around.

Then, I left and helped Sal, who did not say one.word.

I felt like a mom.

When I returned to the office, I looked at my computer and my PCDART was up and running!
Wooohoooo!

I won't lie, I danced.
You've never seen moves like mine, trust me.

In the middle of my moves, Raj called me back.

Me: "YOU are my new best friend!"
Raj:  "Rashal, we kant be freends.  You bling me weendows veesta."

I feel positive that I can win him over though.

Love,
ComputerIlliterateCowLady