Tuesday, February 21

It Can Get Hairy

  Early yesterday morning this happened.


 Which is pretty awesome, I mean how perfectly do they go together?!

I spotted and big dot, and and little smudgeOfADot, when the sun came up and knew I had an early calving.

So I, being an intuitive cow person, ventured to the farthest reaches of my far-off lot to check on momma and baby girl.
Because it's my job.

All I wanted to do was check on them to make sure they were OK, then I would come back later and bring them in.
No biggie.

They were fine, so I returned to the barn to put out a number of other fires.

After lunch I bedded the pen that I would put the new pair in, and decided to just drive the loader out, pick up the baby and maybe momma would follow us back to the barn.

U-sually, if a cow is a good mother and has bonded with the baby, she will follow that baby to the ends of the earth and kill whatever is in her path.

So, I pulled up to the baby, jumped off the loader at which point the baby sprung into action and ran through the neighbors fence, all the while making the "MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" sound.

Now, if a cow is a good mother, she does not EVER want to hear this sound.

I quickly grabbed a back leg, and reeled the baby back under the fence.
I then picked her up, slid her into the loader bucket, and jumped into the drivers' seat before momma could catch me...haha!!!

This particular mother wasn't after me, she was just wanting to make the INFERNAL RACKET STOP!
I don't blame her.

With the baby in the bucket, I started easing through the field toward the barn.
At first momma had zero clue where her calf had gone.
She was getting frantic, and since baby decided to take THAT moment to remain silent, I belted out a "MAAAAAAAAAA!".
Don't act like you wouldn't do the same.

Mommas' ears perked, and here she came...head in bucket of loader smelling her baby.


They don't teach you these things in text books people.

I continued backing through the field, and momma decided to run alongside me...


Once she got behind me and firmly stopped, causing me to stop, I realized she was throwing herself across the railroad tracks in hopes of making this ride stop.
So I went around her.

I'm not sure exactly when the brilliant idea hit me, but it was fiercely genius....
I thought, hey! Why open several gates, go through two fields, and finally wade through mud in order to get to the calving barn, when I could just open the big gate and lead her up the drive this way?!
I'm telling you, NOT in text books.

I mean, what could go wrong?!
I'll just take her OUT of the security of a fenced area and roll the dice on whether or not I am chasing her into another zip code!

Then I opened the gate...

I drove the loader through the gate, and momma walked followed, smelled her baby then proceeded to tear through my parents yard like a wild buffalo.

I'm not sure how long I sat there, or when I started saying "MAAAAAA!  MAAAAA!", but it felt like forever.

Since my brilliance throughout the years has given me plenty of cow-chasing practice, I closedMyEverLovinMouth, and took the calf to the barn.


I left baby, who was ZERO help by the way, in the entrance of the barn and left the gate open.
By "zero help" I am excluding the moment when she sprung out of the loader bucket, only to leave her back legs inside, creating the 'wheelbarrow race' illusion.
Thanks for that.

After chasing momma, through The Heat's flower beds yard ,through around BossMan's garden(if you tell I'll deny it), and in-between the rows of hutches...she found her baby.

And they lived happily ever after.

And I ate an entire roll of cookie dough, to offset the calorie deficit.



  1. Funny...after I chased my heifer yesterday for a half hour through burr patches, the big grove etc, I ate a king size hershey bar. I mean come on, doesn't one deserve a huge caloric intake just for the frustration? =) Great post!

  2. Rarely do I actually laugh out loud. (I will never type just the letters either, for I feel a true belly laugh deserves full recognition.)

    I laughed out loud.

    Promise me you will MAAAAAA for me when I see you next.....


Lay it on me..