On the Fourth Day of Christmas

...My true love gave to me....

Four famished calves!...bombombom...

This is my good friend Mercy.
He found himself in a bit of a situation.

Mercy is such a good friend that I sent him into a pack of starving calves, wielding only ONE bottle of milk.
...and I sat back and watched.

I kid.
Actually, the two I was feeding happened to get finished before his.
(That is called 'careful selection' my friends.  This ain't my first rodeo.)
Then, I ran.

After the third one was finished, what was left for them to do?
Attack the one who obviously got more milk than them.
Duh.

I just happened to be on the other side of the gate while this was occurring.
Strange how those things happen.

Had I been in the pen they would have been on me like a pack of wild...fish.
That's the only way to describe the wet noses that they push against your legs, while head butting you.
OK, maybe fisheses don't head butt..that's obviously beside the point.

If you are at all feeling sorry for my bro Mercy, then maybe this will help....

When I got back in the pen...well I captured this picture...

...while hiding behind Mercy....

Then they finally got me.
I'm talking wet, slimy, drooly noses all ova the back of my pants.

I'm glad I had to stop by the pharmacy on my way home...and go inside.

There is really no good way to describe to anyone, the state of my backside.
Oh, I was feeding calves....
Have you ever been in a pen with a bunch of hungry calves?...
...I stood in front of a sprinkler...

I have the 'I DARE you to stare for more than 2 seconds' look down.
Trust me.