Saturday, October 15

Keys to Working on a Farm: Back That Thing UP

I found this yesterday and it concisely describes where I am right now.
Not really.
But how many times do you run across the word "bombdiggity"???
Let me tell you, not many.

Yesterday I found myself at the corner of delirious and tired.
I don't like describing myself as being "on the corner" of let's just say I was at the intersection.
K...sounds good.

I had to take a cow and some baby calves to a farm tour thingy, where a bunch of little kids would care less.
They were at the corner of of AD and HD.
They really truly don't care...unless the cow poops or the calves kick someone. 
Then it's the

The Heat and Mercy went to edumacate the childrens.
Actually Mrs. Heat was doing the edumacating while Mercy served as the bouncer.
Calves can get rowdy...he put one in time-out.

Part of being a farmer is pleasing the people...that's where I seem to fall short..and my mother knows this.
The Heat rescues me from social situations during which there is a chance I could make someone cry.
True story.
So The Heat and Mercy wowed the crowd and I entertained my admirers.

You see my fan-base is anyone from the age of  0-6  and anyone over 60.
The 6 and younger love that I "play" with animals, especially cats, ALLLLLL day and step in poop.
The 60 and up seem to relate to what I do.
The ones between 6 and 60?  I tend to make them cry.
Inadvertently...for the most part.

Yesterday was all about the mature audience where a very important skill came into play.
This skill will get you surprisingly far and is considered a "life skill" when it comes to working on a farm.
What is this skill, you ask?
You gotta be able to back that thing up.

Not like in a club to Luda.
No, back a trailer, tractor, wagon, bobcat, truck or even lawn mower.
You back it up and you back it up good...ya hear?

This skill is not is earned.
It's developed, molded through years and YEARS of doing it wrong and getting yelled at by Bossman.

What will 14 years of practice get you? 8 Years of therapy.
The ability to parallel park a 24 foot cattle trailer and the admiration of the 60 and up crowd.
And a little something called Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

I can back anything up anywhere you want it...just don't try to help or I will back over you.

So the more seasoned gentlemen stand and watch, wearing their khaki pants and starched plaid shirt with their brand new "FARM TOUR!!!" t-shirts over it coming down to their knees.
They smile and say things like "Gal, I knew you could do it", and "That's one hard working farm girl"...and by then you know you've made it.

You won them over.
Hey, they might even take you to Shoneys;).

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