Little Honduran Boy

I have resigned myself to the fact that I am nothing more than a glorified Honduran around here.  Actually I often feel like I work for them. (sigh).

I guess that's the up-side to not being willing able to speak or comprehend English..they always have the upper hand.

I know what you are thinking and the answer is NO!  I will NOT take my free time and spend it learning Spanish!  Take that! Ha!  Besides it never fails, when there is something I need to tell them and cannot show them I run and get my English-Spanish dictionary, look up the "correct" word, practice saying it a couple times, and then "present" it to them.  And do you know what happens EVERY TIME?  They have no idea what I am saying.  Yep.  I can even show them the word in the dictionary and they still look at me like I am from another planet.  Uggggghhhhhh.

So then I, the glorified Honduran, do it myself.  Which is exactly what they want.  I'm onto them. 

I can remember taking Spanish in high school and college...I mean I did most of the time show up to that class.  Heh.  However, I simply don't often need to order chicken fajitas with cheese...at work.

Sometimes when they are telling me something I act like I cannot understand them as well..but as long as I can pick two or three words out of their rambling I can solve the mystery. When they think I can't understand,  for some reason, they speed up a little and start using their hands a.lot.  This scares me. 

But you know what I have noticed?  They don't yell the words because they know that I am not deaf, I'm just not real smart.  When non-Spanish speaking people try to communicate with the Hondurans they YELL, thinking that if they are louder the noise will seep into their Honduran-brains and suddenly they will comprehend English.  I have witnessed this production and it even embarrasses me.

The Yeller: "DEW YEW KNOW WHERE RAY-CHAL  IS-A?"  (FYI by yelling everything the redneck-southern accent tends to become more obvious).
My poor Honduran:  Blinks.

Felt sorry for them for a second there didn't ya?  Yeah well don't.  They have this figured out.  They tell me they aren't working tomorrow?  They won't work tomorrow because, lets face it, I can't.argue.  I have gotten really good at making those exasperated noises in the back of my throat though.  That's something. 

Chuck even knows how it works around here.  He caught on pretty quick...it all became clear after the first time they screwed up and he had to talk me off the "ledge".  Trust me, he can tell when happiness starts getting a few things together for an overnight-trip...he get reeeaaalll quiet.

Last winter I was on the phone with him while he was driving by here looking for me.  I was walking straight toward him..plain as day..and he still said he couldn't find me.  Granted I was Carhartt head-to-toe..I looked like a walking brown-blob...all you can see in the winter is my face.

Me:  "I'm right HEE-YAR walking toward YEW!!"
Chuck:  "Oh..is that you?  I thought it was a little Honduran boy."

Everyone's a comedian.