Friday, May 6

Feline Brothel

Let me start out by saying I DO NOT have a kitten in my office in a dog kennel.  Ok maybe I do.  Tiny and black, currently meowing her head off...driving me crazy.  I'll give some background information as to why exactly this has happened to me.  There must be a billboard or ad in the paper that reads: "don't like your pet? then take it to the local dairy farm! they LOVE stray animals". 

We go through a 50 pound bag of cat food PER WEEK.  Ridiculous! Sometimes special trips are made just to get cat food!  I got my birthday gift a month after my birthday this year..but heaven forbid these cats get hungry.  I can literally NOT step out of my office(this term is used rather loosely) door if they have not been fed in the last 2 hours.  And what happens if I run out of food?  I will exit via the side door that goes through a number of gates and obstacles because I'm afraid they might eat ME.  You should hear the noises they make.  It must ALWAYS be breeding season.  They don't know the meaning of shame..if your pickin up what I'm puttin down.(dot dot dot).

Throughout the day yesterday I would hear a kitten somewhere outside meowing and kept telling myself to "just ignore it".  Well I can't.  I have a blind dog and one that is follicly(made that word up) challenged.  I might as well have "sucker" on my forehead.  We finally crossed paths and I proceeded to pick it up and place it in front of random cats that I knew had kittens and then runawayrealfast. NOT working.  The mothers would look, smell, encirlce and eventually walk away as if they couldn't figure out exactly what that thing was.  Hookers. All of them.  I did this for a good hour and nothin.  Then I spotted her.  The 3-legged cat.  I can remember watching her carry her entire litter UP a flight of stairs.  Trust me when I saw this I stopped what I was doing and watched in awe because she was "such a good mom"

So here I sit.  Contemplating how I will get this critter to eat, and what time the Co-op opens to I can pawn her off on someone there.  I'm a giver.

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