Sunday, May 8

The Heat(aka my Mom)

Today we celebrate Mother's Day and in honor of this day I would like to post some "Mom moments in history".

When Malinda and I were younger mom would come and tuck us in and kiss us goodnight then we would yell "I LOVE YOU" as she turned the light off in the hall.  Malinda (who was always a bit faster on the draw than me) would usually say it last.  This is not acceptable.  What if when mom went to bed the last thing she could remember for the day was Malinda's little voice telling her she loved her??  She wouldn't even remember the chubby little sidekick to her intelligent daughter Malinda!  So I would always scream "ILOVEYOUTHEBESTINTHEWHOLEWIDEWORLD!!"..because NO ONE could love her more.  (I have recently added ".com" to the end in hopes of keeping up with the times.)

She had timing down.pat.  It's not that I was necessarily more trouble than Malinda...I just wasn't quite as stealthy.  Somehow Mom would always discover the "thing" I had done and catch me while I was in the bathtub...coincidence? Ithinknot.  Pudgy wet leg+mom's hand=YEEOWCH. 

She goes by "The Heat".  No kidding you see her in public and she will answer to it.  Not because she has an affinity for police work but because she could level a city with a.look.  I have seen grown people cry after encountering her stare.  If you see it you know your in trouble and should leave town.Immediately.  The best way to describe the way it makes you feel is if you add up EVERYTHING you have EVER done wrong and mix it with an elephant on your chest..the you will know how I felt the ONE time I forgot her birthday.  Let.Me.Tell.You about guilt.  Now it's a month-long celebration.  Actually, it's in it too early to start?

She is highly allergic to everything.  She could drive by poison ivy and have a rash in her mouth the next day.  She once got stung on the forehead by a bee and jumped in the car without saying a word...mind you there were 3 kids diving into open doors and hanging out windows because she neglected to tell anyone.  The next day I walked in the house and she was standing with her back to me and I started telling her something..she turned halfway and I kept talking she then turned all the way facing me and was like two-face on Batman.  Half of her face was chubby from the bee sting.

There are so many more famous "Mom moments in history" but I have to hop off here and treat my sick cows.

I love you mom.

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