Tuesday, June 26

Five Reasons Why We Should Have a TV Show

...but it would have to be on the Discovery Channel..obviously.

Chuck, my love-muffin, has really gotten into watching the Discovery Channel  and History Channel here lately...which sort of rocks my world, considering he walked out of the bathroom the other day with a 6-inch "boom box" on his shoulder blaring Kylie Minogue.

I believe some things in life are better left untouched.

Atanyrate, he watches shows about turtle-hunters("LIVE ACTION!!!"), duck-callers and people who voluntarily live in the middleofnowhere and forget to bring their knives.

These shows have caused me to wonder how we missed out on this golden reality show opportunity?!

I am well prepared to write my letter to the Discovery Channel, lobbying for our kind of crazy to land a spot in the midst of such quality programming.

I have come up with 5 compelling reasons why we deserve a place in the spotlight....

Reason #5:
-Two words: Wacky-wacky.
I would love to be a fly on the wall while my workers and I are having a conversation.
A 'wacky-wacky' is a weed eater...in Spanglish.
IknowIknowIknow..it is embarrassing.  The thing is, I could call it a 'weed eater' until I turn blue in the face, but they only know it as a 'wacky-wacky'.
They could show these episodes to kids when the "Why do I need to learn Spanish??" questions arise.
I don't envision having much of a multicultural television following.

Reason #4:
-Movie deal...."Planet of the CATS".
We could make millions.
You know it's true.

Reason #3:
-I feel like Chuck and Gus should have their own episodes.
Something along the lines of "Learning to cowboy:  from behind the wheel to behind the horn", or maybe "Why you should be up front about your equine ability BEFORE you get married".
These are just some thoughts.

Reason #2:
-Mercy devised a scheme to catch a groundhog with raspberries AND pulled off a sophisticated goatee made from soap suds....allinthesameday.

Reason #1:
-The number one reason why we deserve a television show of our very own?  That's easy, Skip.
Who is Skip?
Skip is the enormous cyst on Eddie's forehead that he STILL hasn't had removed.
For the past few months I have taken to giving any and all of Eddie's instructions to Skip instead.  He passes them to Eddie for me.
Skip demands attention and is scary-big.
I feel confident that one day Skip will give me winning lotto numbers and I might be able to hear the ocean if I stand close enough to him.
I love the ocean.
When Eddie does get rid of Skip he will probably have to have a good sized skin graft...more than likely using skin from either his rear or his wife.
...he told me that.
This could possibly land us a spot on National Geographic as well.
Fingers crossed!

Oh, and in case you are looking for 100% gas...it's "in the rear"....
Yes, I'm eleven.

Have a wonderful (and much cooler) day!!


1 comment:

  1. Oh my gosh Rachael, you make me chuckle out loud! I'll back you on the show gig.


Lay it on me..