6 Feet Under

Is it still raining?
I'm afraid to look...

So WOW how 'bout some rain?!
Anyone wanna go for a swim?
No?

Me either.

I am glad it's Tuesday though...you people and your "Monday Blues" have worn off on me.
I think today will be better.

I was at work for 12 hours yesterday...not that bad, huh?
I was at work IN the rain..for 12 hours yesterday....it sorta bummed me out.
I won't lie, it did.

Something interesting did happen though, and you bet your britches I'm gonna tell you about it!

After finishing my morning routine, I ventured down to Teddie's neck of the woods(the commodity shed) to see what was shakin'.

They were standing at the feed truck, not doing a darn thing.
When they saw me they straightened up, and acted like they were solving the world's mysteries.
Eddie: "I wish it would quit raining so I wouldn't have to feed and get wet".
Tim: "Maybe we should just make the world spin in the opposite direction"...I.Kid.You.Not.
Eddie: "Well, yeah I guess that would work".
Then they both looked at me, maybe to get my input, or maybe because my mouth was wide open and I looked like I had a question.
I opted to not touch that, and turned and walked away.
They know how to get rid of me.

I went to check on my far-off dry cows, because I knew I had one who was due Dec. 2nd and she was not yet in my close-up lot.

I found her, 8441.
Laying in a pile of leaves, just hangin' out.

I said, "Let's go momma" and she got up and we headed toward the gate.
She was walking kind of funny, so I decided to re-route her into the calving barn.
I thought it would be best to palpate her to see if maybe she was in early labor and just wasn't doing a lot of pushing.
Heh.

I reached in, and sure enough she was!
I'mSoGoodAtMyJob, I thought, as I eased her into the chute and put my new gloves on.

I needed to help her, so I got the puller ready and went in to grab some feet....
And feet....and feet....
A whole bunch of feet greeted me.
Six, to be exact.

Uh.....alrighty..let's see what else is in here....
Sometimes you find the head(s) right off...I found one!
Then I did a bigger sweep with my hand and, yep! There's the other one, as my hand went into its mouth.
FYI, they have RAZOR sharp teeth when they are still in there.

Normally twins aren't a huge deal, not preferred, but not all that bad.
Normally.
Normally twins don't try to come out AtTheSameTime either.
Normally.

One was on top, in the correct position, however it was hindered by it's sibling, who decided to take the position of a horseshoe...with its head on the bottom...
Ah geez...

I arranged, and re-arranged, until I could no longer feel my arm.
Then I went and got reinforcements.
Teddie.
The dynamic duo.

I figured that since they had solved the "rain issue" they might be able to help me.
Plus..Tim is much stronger than me.

Occasionally Tim doesn't appreciate being used, so I lured him in with, "Hey! Come see what you can find!".
I mean, who, when being handed a long pink glove while hearing that, wouldn't jump at the opportunity?
Normal people, that's who.

So, he accepted the challenge, reached in and gave me the "you owe me for this" look.
We spent an hour pulling...and pushing...grunting and discussing.
Eddie was ZERO help, so we sent him away.
At one point, the puller was in the air, and I was hanging from it as if suspended from monkey bars.
By far one of the most difficult pulls to date..

We were both surprised when we got the first one out, and he was alive!
You don't usually get that kind of Grace when the process takes so long.
The second, a girl, was alive too!
BINGO!

I got them both onto some dry straw and eased their mom over to them.
She started licking immediately.

There are very few moments better than the one where everyone is OK, and momma is handling it.

...and since Tim got me out of a pickle I won't remind him of the conversation he had with Eddie.
I wouldn't know where to start anyway...

I Promise

I promise...

 To laugh with you.

To hold your hand in Church.

To set your Cheerios out in the morning so you don't forget;).

To eat at least 1 fry off your plate.

To try my hardest to pick you up when you are down.

To plan for the future but live for today.

To nag you about going to the doctor regularly.

To tell you 'I love you' 100 times a day.

To respect you and your feelings.

To dream with you.

To hide Hello Kitty stickers in random places.

To remind you that God has a plan.

To trust you.

To never let you grow a mustache...again.

To keep the 80's clothes hidden in the back of your closet.

To say 'Thank you'.

To smell like cows.

To keep you on your toes;).

I promise to never let you down.

Love,

Me

The Omen

Soooooo?
How did it go?

Was the turkey done?
Was it everything you dreamed and more?

Did you eat watery spinach like I did?
Did your mom make a chocolate pie?

Did your Aunt pull out a bottle of wine so big it had to have come from Jersey Shore?
...Wash th turley doned?
I kid.

But seriously, I hope you had a jam-up time!

Now...be honest...did you hit up Black Friday and do some shopping?
Trample a short-person during the rush into Wal-Mart?
...Drink a beer at 8 am?

I forgot to tell you!
When I was in transit back to the homeland from my trip to the Arctic Circle, I had a layover in Chi-town so I went to Chili's for some coffee and toast in Concourse E.
The bar was FULL of people drinking those big don't-tell-my-wife sized beers.
Chyeah. 8 AM.
It'sNot5O'clockANYWHERE.
So I did 4 shots and shotgunned a beer....hehehe.
I kid.
Just thought I would share...

So....Black Friday....

I didn't partake in the shopping festivities due to the fact that I had to feed cows...and letsfaceit, I can't handle that.

So I got up, fed babies then fed cows while the sun was making it's appearance.
It was a beautiful day! Not a cloud in the sky!

At 9 AM I was having an intense convo with Tim about Turducken, when we saw a huge buck in the middle of the field behind the dairy.....
Weird. Hunting season WIDE open. Broad daylight. Middle of a plowed field. Weird.

It is only now that I realize the buck was a sign directed at me. Telling me to go home.
...OK actually it looked as if he was running a wide right, turned to catch the pass then went over the fence into the end zone...
But I know the deeper meaning.

After deciding that a cornish hen would probably fit into a duck, Tim left and I went and ran 5 miles.
ForSomeUnforseenReason.

During my run, the sky turned Black and my Friday took a turn for the worse.
-I returned to work.
-Started the pump.
-Decided to walk into the parlor to see what was shakin'.
-Discovered that my milking equipment had "timed-out" during the acid wash cycle.
-Said "Poop".
-Started it over again, and ran it manually.
-Discovered that the water pressure was gone.
-Checked the well and it was off.
-Pushed the red-buttons to reset the well.
-Screamed when it reset, cuz I thought it was going to shock me....I think my shock-days are numbered.
-It pulled 70 amps, then kicked off.
-Said "Poop".
-Called Tim.
-Tim checked it, said, "The sinky-dinky's broken", called the "Well-guy".
-I fed calves a bit early so I had time to feed cows after.
-My worker came and told me I had a cow down.
-Said "Poop".
-Checked the cow, who had been outside jumping around earlier.
-She was blown up bigger than the Goodyear blimp...twisted stomach.
-Said "Poop".
-Got her to the sick pen FINALLY with Tim's help.
-Headed to feed cows late.
-Discovered twenty cows making a run for it down the main aisle, because someone Tim had left the gate unlocked....
-Said "Poop".
-Got the runaways back in.
-Started to feed.
-The well guy came.
-Left work, took a warp-speed shower, went with Chuck and Caden to the Fantasy of Trees, ate pizza.
-Tim called and said, "The well-guy can't fix it til tomorrow. Okely-dokely."
-Said "Poop".
-Got home and went back to work...after 10.
-Manually washed the equipment. Again.
-Went home. Again.

And here I am at work...again.

The Wal-Mart stampede might not have been so bad after all.

Happy Thanksgiving!

 Go on...

Enjoy your food!

....and a tall glass of MILK while you're at it;)

Happy Thanksgiving!

Love,

CrazyCowLady

P.s. "I Love You...."

I ended up riding-along with Officer Cutie the very next night as well.
It was after a little prodding from my friend though, she knew I really wanted to and was happy to take the blame when I said, "So...Courtney says I should ride with you again....". 
She knew me too well.

After that night I knew I wanted to see him again...outside the police car.

The next few days were spent texting each other uncontrollably.
All.Day.Long.

My ability to verbally spar proved to be a perfect compliment to his witty sarcasm.
He made me laugh, but more importantly I was letting my guard down...slowly.
No one had been able to make me do that for quite some time.
The best part was that I truly felt like I could be myself around Chuck.
That's what I needed.

I knew that a farmer was who I had inside me, and I wasn't about to apologize for my odd business hours.
He got it.  He understood.
And he was still interested.

One afternoon while sitting perched atop the front-end loader in the freestall barn, digging up freestalls he sent me a text.

OK...so we had been texting the entire time, so much so that I could only get between two and four freestalls dug up at a time, in between reading and sending texts.
I was a goner.

His text read, "Do you want to go out and eat sometime?".
After I began breathing again I called my mom, or The Heat as I call her.
"OhMyGoshYouKnowThatGuyChuckIWasTellingYouAbout? HeAskedMeOOOOUUUUUTTTT!!!!"

Then I collected myself, threw my leg nonchalantly over the side of the tractor, and replied, "sure".
I am so cool.

We decided to go out to the local brewery and a movie after.
Chuck had a red rose waiting on my seat, when he came by to pick me up.
Point: Chuck.

The food at the brewery was exceptional, seeing as I had not been able to eat any kind of melted, cheesey, goodness while getting ready for my figure competition, earlier in the month.
Therefore I ate it.all.
...and his fries.

He didn't seem to mind, which I quickly filed under the "Shares Fries" file in my head.
That file is of the utmost importance.

The evening was wonderful, and we ended up seeing each other-outside the cruiser-again, and again.
We developed an easy pattern of texting all day, going to the gym together, then talking at night.
I loved being around him.
Seriously, loved it.

.....I loved him as well.

This feeling gave me serious anxiety, considering I did not know if he loved me back.
I mean, yeah I knew he liked me...I mean what's not to like?
The wit? The cow smell?
But I couldn't blurt out "I love you" at some random moment.

The feelings I had for him were almost overwhelming.
I felt like I had to tell him or I was gonna bust!

But what if he said something like "OK"?
What if he laughed?
What if it was awkward?

It literally wore me out.
We would get off the phone, he would say "Bye", I would say "Bye"Iloveyou.

Then one evening while driving back from the gym, I leaned up in the car, turned the radio down and said, "Ilikeyou.  I mean like, I reeeaaallllly llllllllike you".
ThenITurnedTheRadioUpRealFast.

He laughed and said, "Well, I really like you too".
That's great. He laughed. I am sooooo funny...harharhar.

I weenied out.  Simple as that.
I was going for the gold...and then got scared and didn't even compete.
Goh.

I still loved him though....

That next week was Thanksgiving and I was all set to go to my Aunt's for a late lunch on the holiday.
I had been stressing over wanting to tell Chuck that I loved him, but still couldn't work up the nerve.
Then I had an idea!
I'll write him a note!
I'mAGenius!

He will read the note, without me there, and not feel pressured to say it back!
....and I won't hear him laugh.  Win!

Being much better at writing than talking, I sat down and poured my heart out in ink on a piece of notebook paper.
It wasn't a mushy note, full of puppies and butterflies, but it also contained more than three words.

I decided to leave it for him to find in the morning, while I was at work.
He had worked graveyard the night before, so he wouldn't be getting up until around noon anyway.
The day happened to be Thanksgiving.

I went to work and worried.
Went home to change and worried.
Drove to my Aunt's...and worried.

I parked, and was getting ready to get out of the truck when I got a text.
It said, "Hey! Happy Thanksgiving!  I didn't want to bother you in case you were already eating.  Call me when you're done and headed back.  By the way, I love you too:)".

I sat there and cried, knowing that this would always be my greatest Thanksgiving memory of all.

Mount Vesuvius

....I put a chicken in the crock pot this morning.
.........
.........
Those may be my famous last words.

I am really trying not to think about it right now, but as you can see...I blurted it out first thing.
BUT I put the slow cooker on "low" and didn't put as much water in it.
ItHadBetterGetDoneByLunch!

I have dreamed up a white bean chicken chili recipe and reeeeaaaallllly want to make it.
I browsed the internets and came up with not.one.single.recipe that suited me...so I am just gonna wing it.

There were lots of turkey chili recipes though...which would make for super great dishes to throw that leftover turkey from Thanksgiving in!
...Just a thought.

By the by, I am SO jealous of all of you turkey-makers out there.
I love, love, love making...well anything...but unfortunately Thanksgiving is not my holiday to cook.
Boo.

I do, however, get Christmas!
So that's something...right?!

I have decided that I am going to make Beef Wellington again, like last year.
What could be better than beef tenderloin in pastry?
Nothing. That's right. Nothing.

Thanksgiving and Christmas aside, I need to ask you a question....
I need you to be honest.
I don't care if it's not what I want to hear.
Brutal honesty.
OK?

Did you check on things here while I was gone, like you said you would?
Did you?

Did you happen to notice the free-for-all that was occurring in my calving barn?
Hmm?

The 4 cows and SIX calves that were all just kinda hangin' out together?
I'm referring to the FOUR HOLSTEIN cows and SIX calves...TWO of which were JERSEYS?
No?
Nothing?

Just checking.

Since I had no idea which calf belonged to which cow, I loaded all the mama's up and brought them to the barn yesterday.
Hmph!

That left me with 6 calves to bottle feed.
I am out of empty hutches....inn's full!!!..which means I have 6 in a pen.

Have you ever tried to feed 6 bottle calves in a pen together?
Let me paint you a picture....

Bottle in my left hand...
Bottle in my right...
Bottle between my knees...(short Jersey)...
One calf sucking on my back pocket...
One calf sucking on my right knee...
One calf sucking on the neck of the calf sucking on my knee...

Think you're done?!
Just wait til the three on the bottles are finished.

I was sweating.
They were hungry.
I yelled at Mercy.
Then I went home.

This morning I got to work early...after sealing my fate with Mount Vesuvius( my slow cooker).

I had a plan.
I had the calves in the barn lined up, assembly line style, drinking from bottle holders.

Which would have been G-enius, if they all drank at the same rate...
Instead, dingy on the left finished first, ran over to the one beside him who backed up like he had been goosed, who ran into the one beside him who caused a domino effect.

It's great to be back;).

Honeeeey, I'm Hooooooome!

Goodness what a vacation!
The travel-time I could have done without, but the MalinDelSon (Malinda, Del, Jackson) I could not have!

I got there and Malinda and baby J were waiting for me..I was the ONLY person with someone there waiting. Justsoyouknow;).
It was great!

Rochester is a tiny airport, getting there meant taking two planes from Knoxville both ways.
No problem.
The put me, with my people-smell aversion, directly beside the bathroom in the VERY back of the plane on one of the flights.
No problem.
American decided to change my flights in Charlotte.
No problem.
It was 14, FOURTEEN, degrees in Rochester one morning.
I'mnotmadeforthat.

I managed to run on the two upper-twenty degree mornings during my visit.
The longest I ran was for 35 minutes, which I happily doubled in my head because itwassoCOLD!
Then Edna, with her red weathered-looking hands came to visit, and I decided gloves would be a good idea.
No matter what state I'm in, I'm still pretty.

Since I was not in Rochester to get a procedure done at Mayo, which is normally the reason people go there, Malinda happily gave me a brief tour of the facilities.
Holy.Wow.

Let's talk about corn fields and dairy farms.
Then justlikethat BOOM! Glass, marble, ornately carved wood. Mayo Clinic.

The greatest minds in the medical field can be found amongst the stalks of corn and crows.
(They were having a crow epidemic while I was there. Let.Me.Tell.You. I saw some very well-fed birds.)

As if the minds and structures weren't enough to marvel at, throw in some Dale Chihuly glass sculptures and ORIGINAL Andy Warhol paintings.

I'm still in awe.


The best part was hanging out with my family.

Watching Jackson and TC(TheCat), bathe together in the tub...
Talking cow-breeding with Del...
Cooking pre-Thanksgiving dinner with Malinda....
Visiting the Mall of America...and not killing anyone...

It was wonderful!

I was reminded how easy it is to fall into normal rhythm with my sister.
We worked easily beside each other while cooking, and are just as happy staying in by the fire as we are people-watching at the mall.

A note on my sister.....
She is really something else.
To meet her you would never know that she is Doctor in Neonatology.
Not only a Doctor, but a Doctor at Mayo Clinic. 
From the research she conducts, to the recognition/awards she receives she is the epitome of humble. 
Though she has Doctors asking her to do her Fellowship with them, she still truly believes she can do more.
She is such an inspiration.

And to think we used to argue over who had to water and feed the show calves when we were little!

I'm giving her 3 years to move back, after that I'm coming to get her with the cattle trailer.
Try me.....

So, I'm back to work this morning.
(I couldn't wait to get back...serious.nerd.excitement.)

Mercy met me down at the calf barn for his last hoo-rah of waking up early before school to feed calves.
I'm pretty sure he is glad I am back:).

Everyone looked great!
I had about 9 calves born while I was gone, and everyone was bright-eyed and hungry this morning!
Without Mercy I would have been a wreck...for real.

I was nothing but confident leaving him in charge of the calves, even though he did call me at 5:30 am while I was on the way to the airport...
After that, he was golden!

Teddie held things together at the barn...nothing extraordinary..but I think everything lived.
That's saying something...

The Heat yelled at my workers when she found the lint trap full...
OK, she didn't yell....for some reason she just talks to them reeeaaalllly LOUD and drawn o-u-t.

Chuck survived....I think he is glad to see me though:).
I'm really glad to see him!

Home sweet home, with a lot of work to do.
I wouldn't have it any other way:).