Monday, May 13

What Being a Stepmom Has Taught Me

I certain little boy turns the big 1-2 today!!
Happy birthday Caden!

I feel so blessed to be a part of his life.

When I first started dating Chuck I can remember Caden being:
Less smelly-er.

Now he is:
Much tall-er.
Waaaaay smelly-er....because boys just are. Sorry.
...and I can wear his old clothes-er.
Boy, that last one is such a WIN!

Anyway, life has such a funny way of working out doesn't it?  I mean, the day that Charles(sometimes I use his proper name, justsohecanrollhiseyes) and I met at the gym, I totally had never given any thought to being a step mom.  Yeowza.
Now looky here!  I am stumbling my way through it quite nicely...ish.
you get credit for trying, mk?

I had never given any thought to the amount of space some little person, a stranger to me, would take up in my heart.  I cannot fathom the amount of trust that Chuck had to have in me to introduce me to his son.
My hat is off to all of the single parents out there looking for that someone to become a part of their family.  You have such a tremendous job ahead of you!
Accepting someone not only into your home, but into your children's life takes great courage.  I am so thankful that Chuck allowed me into their lives a few years ago.

Now, for the record I will never say that Caden and I have been super close since the beginning, or even now.  He was a little leery at first, I mean what child wouldn't be?  I wasn't his mom.  He didn't know me from Adam.  I was this person who suddenly showed up everywhere his dad was...and talked.  Seeing as I am not super outgoing, I took a back seat and just tried to be there.  Be available.  Be nice.  Bake treats for him.
Getting to know Caden has taught me that above all else, just being there is so important.
Smiling, asking him about his day, helping him with English and holding my phone under the table with "Google" pulled up in anticipation of a math question.
Caden has this huge heart.  He talks a mean game, but his heart hurts just like mine.
He remembers things in great detail and has the ears of an owl.

I am lucky to have such a wonderful mom, because occasionally I will think, "what would mom do?" and be able to act accordingly.

Having this opportunity to be a step mom to such a loving boy, has put my priorities in place.  I used to enjoy going out on the town and having a big time, but now all I want to do is help provide this stable life for him.  I want him to know that no matter what else happens, his dad and step mom are always going to be here.  They always want him.  He is never an inconvenience to our lives.

I think that children who are used to being "shuffled" from place to place, like nomads, have security issues.  Maybe I'm wrong, it's just my opinion.  That is my greatest fear.

Life is so not about me, and that is one of the greatest lessons I have learned.  Being able to help Chuck have the family he has always wanted for himself and his son is honestly all I want.  I was put here for this purpose, and if all I need to do is love this little boy...then psssshhhh!


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