Sunday, January 19

Pulling the Trigger

I have written 9 posts since the last one I published, and have just not been able to pull the trigger.
It's not you, it's me.
I have problems.

I think about posting every single day, for real, but the problem is one day I feel convicted to talk about Jesus and the next?  I want to talk about how much I despise the word, "skinny".
And 'bikini bridge'???? Don't even get me started.

I have decided to just get over it, over myself

Since we last talked I have continued working on the same grass-fed, grass-finished beef farm, and LOVE it. Just do. Can't help it. Would totally do it for free if I didn't need the money. don'ttellmyboss. ormyhusband.

I feel like during the last 6 months I have evolved into a different, but better, version of myself.  Still working on it though;).

My morning walks to check the cattle are my time to give thanks, and to breathe in all He has given me.  I tell you, sometimes I cannot seem to breathe deeply enough.  

Working out daily is still a non-negotiable for me.  It is my happy place.  My honey goes with me almost every morning, and my fitness approach continues to evolve. 
I have really gotten into eating...without apology. Sound weird?
Back when I competed for the first time I immersed myself in self-education on food, food as fuel, and fitness. 
I worked hard, trained hard and got the results I wanted. Good, right? Eh, kinda.

I had very, very low body fat, a six-pack and a couple of trophies.  Woot.
Problem is, my relaltionship with food became very strained.  I started to look at food as just fuel to get me through my day.  No fun involved.  I ate clean, didn't "deprive" myself of an abundant amount of it, and gave myself a hard time if I splurged.

Just last week I was talking with my good friend K, and we shared stories about "allowing ourselves sodium" and not eating every 2-3 hours
Those things were mental hurdles for us. 
As were "eating carbs after 5 pm" and not running 5 miles after a piece of cheesecake.
^^^^^^^^^These things?!  These things aren't healthy!
Sure they get results, duh!  But, no one should have a negative relationship with food.
I love food. Food+me=TL4E.

Things have changed.  Food and I have reconciled and so has my body fat. sigggghhhh.
Don't get me wrong, I still eat clean and healthy, but I love every second of it.  Every breakfast, lunch, dinner, dessert.  No remorse.  No sweating over cheesecake.
I also stopped doing cardio and have replaced it with heavy weight-lifting.  Guess what?
I have less body fat than before I quit cardio.  Yep.
I have a butt too...whaaaaaa????

Now, this recipe for success is only for me.  I have a physically demanding job, and I know my body.
That's not the point of this.  The point is you have to give yourself a break, listen to your body and EDUCATE yourself on what you are eating.
None of this, "what's a carb?" garbage.  No, "is a potato good for you?", "how much is a serving?".
People, you can Google these things on your phone.  There's no excuse.  Don't be lazy.

When I began educating myself I had ZERO dollars to my name.  Like, zero. I could only afford a gym membership, no diet coach or health training. 
I used all my savings to buy Clean Eating books, fitness magazines, and I scoured the internets daily.   You can do this!
Figure out your body, what makes it tick and how it responds to food.  Then, repair your relationship with food.

Now, before you go 'calling me out' and such, I am getting ready to start doing cardio again...gasp!!!
But, only a little after I lift.I think I'm ready.  So there.

And, for the record, I totally meant to talk about Jesus...I'm not sure what happened!  I have a lot to say, and I reckon this has been on my mind as years resolutions and all....;).
This is EXACTLY why I have so many unpublished posts..ugh!
Needless to say, you'll be hearing from me again soon...hey, I walked to the front at Church today, anything is possible ;).


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