Moments

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately..ya know, cuz that's what us farmers do.
We think.

Checking cattle, building fence, mowing a field...thinkthinkthink.

Anyway, I have been thinking about the reason I am here now.  As in managing this farm now.
Not like, sitting at the kitchen table now.
Glad we cleared that up.

I'm back to me.  The 'enjoying all of God's creation' me.  The 'taking care of beautiful(and often sneaky) cattle' me.  The me that has more time to be thankful.  Just me.

That's not why we're here today....youcanbreathenow.
BUT, if can answer that quandary I would be delighted.

We're here, at the kitchen table, because I have been thinking a lot about moments.
Ever since Malinda's friend (and mine) Jaclyn gave me her "before wedding" advice I have thought about moments differently.

Jaclyn told me to take mental pictures of moments during my wedding day, and the days leading up to it.  I am so thankful she did.  There is no way a photographer could catch each and every special moment that took place, much less do it from my eyes. 
Her advice was to, "take a step back, and watch every detail with the intent to revisit later".
I did, and continue to do so every day since.

Sometimes if I really concentrate I can remember special times from my childhood with such clarity, it's almost as if I was taking a mental picture.

I mean, a real picture is nice and all, but to be able to go back and feel something is irreplaceable.

...standing on the beach, just before sunset, trying not to cry...but crying..while holding Chuck's hands in mine, and looking into his eyes while reciting our vows...

These moments hit me while I'm driving to the COOP,

...my dad pulling poem, clipped from a newspaper, out of his suit pocket to use in his toast to us after the ceremony.  A toast he spent more time secretly preparing for, than I spent worrying about him doing...

While I'm measuring a field, on foot, for fence posts,

...sitting at the tiny kitchen table at Granny and Granddaddys house, across from Granny Smith, while she tears open pink packets of Sweet'n'low...

Walking through the cows and calves while they relax in the shade,making sure everyone is there,

...standing at the top of the dairy barn, eyes closed, smelling cows and silage, while the fans blow, listening to the steady 'clank' of the headlocks, and feeling so full of love for each one of those animals...

Filling up mineral feeders,

...at Church with my two greatest blessings, when we stand to sing and MY SONG!  MY ANTHEM, is the first one they play and I could just cry I'm so happy...

Checking fence in a new field,

...the last time I saw my mother, and how much more beautiful and happy she is each time I see her..

Driving to work,

...the last time I Face-Timed with Jackson, and he said 'I love you aunt Rachael'...

These moments are just a few I revisit each day.  Memory is such a gift, and it only takes a second to make one.  A second that could so easily be forgotten. 

Thanks to Jaclyn I make a conscious effort to stop and look around me, take a deep breath and remember how if feels to be there.  Sometimes it's hard to go back, sometimes it hurts but that's why those moments are in the past. 
Maybe that's why I'm here now?

Love,
CowLady



 

A Product of Grace

Happy Sunday!
I cannot even begin to tell you how happy I was to sleep in yesterday...ugh.  I slept until 9:21...9:21!
My beastie...and I do mean beastie...Rachael J and I were to be at the gym by 9:30 to workout together, so sleeping until 9:21 was not the best plan...
Oh well, we got our workout in anyway!

BTW this is Rachael J and I last night at my little sister Beenie's bridal shower...

Rachael and I have been friends since 9th grade.
She was the "new kid" so I was all like, "Her name is Rachael so she must be awesome" and the rest is history.

Plus she is good with numbers and can do stuff like count, and add them together flawlessly, so she comes in handy most of the time since I can do neither very efficiently.

She makes sure we do 3 sets of 10 at the gym, if it were up to me we would probably do 6 sets of 8, or 9 sets of 12, depending on what I was rambling about at the time.
She completes me.

I also have a great, super, fantastic picture of The Heat and I....

She's my rock.
If I could pick anyone to grow up to be just like, it would be her.

Okay, so here's the cake I made for the shower...are you ready?

 

Hands-down the darned prettiest cake I have ever made.

Period.

With monogramming!

It was eight layers of moist, dark chocolate cake, with alternating marshmallow and malted chocolate butter cream between the layers, and ombre' iced with vanilla bean Italian meringue.
Masterpiece.

I have a box of leftovers if you want some.

This week on the farm has been good...actually it kind of flew by, but not at the time.
We got quite a bit accomplished.
Fields chisel-plowed and planted before the rain.
I rotated the cattle to a new set of pastures, AND introduced my man Curly to the ladies.

I totally prepared them for his appearance, "He's not tall...but definitely not short.  You know what they say girls, 'dynamite comes in small packages"'.
They were looking pretty darn sleek and shiny themselves.

We should have some Curly babies next year:).

By now you know me pretty well, I think.
Well enough to know that I tend to look at things as "learning experiences".  At the time I might freak, or get mad, but in the end...maybe after I have slept on it...I have learned something and I appreciate that.

Throughout everything I have done in life, I have learned, grown and gained appreciation for every bad experience as well as good.

I truly believe I was meant to manage cattle, but most often a few people get thrown in with that.
It's how the operation works.

I will be the first to tell you I am not the best people manager.
I am not that friendly, or understanding, and I tend to expect everyone else to have the same work-drive as I do.
Heh.  Most people aren't crazy like me.
I can appreciate this.

When you have someone working for you, whom you don't have any experience with, there is a lot of compromising that takes place...more so on the manager's side.
That's hard.
But then you get to know the persons' work-style and things can get rolling.
....most of the time.

For me, there are two big hurdles to managing:
1.  My gender.
2.  My age.

I would love to say we live in a society where neither of these things matter, and maybe in some occupations it doesn't.  In farming it is very much still alive.
I understand this, especially when I hire someone who is older than me.

In my last job I tended to let my employees get away with more...buttheydidn'tspeakENGLISH!
It was a hurdle, and looking back I shoulda, coulda, woulda done it differently.
The past, you learn, you remember.

Luckily, maybe not for my new employee, I throw every punch I've got.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not a tyrant, I just want there to be no question as to who they are working for.
I want to get the job done, and if they aren't going to do it then either I will find someone who can, or I will.

To me, it's an absolute blessing to be outside each day, enjoying this wonderful creation.
The land and the cattle are constantly changing, evolving, and I get to be a part of that.
It's a passion.

To genuinely want to take care of these things is a task, and not for someone lacking spirit.

Through love and experience I have learned to watch and wait patiently for changes to take place.
This business is not very cause-and-effect.  It's a patience, and a lot of prayer, kind of thing.

On the flip side, through experience I have also learned grace.
The ability to understand what people are going through and why they might act a certain way, and to "sleep on it" before I  react is grace.

Right there in that tiny space before judgement is grace.

I am proud to say I am a product of grace.

Don't get me wrong, I certainly have a lot of learning left to do, but when I realize new things about myself, I take it as a nod that I'm going in the right direction:). 

Have a wonderful day:).

Love,
CowLady

Getting it Together

So how ya been?
I'm good, like really good!

It's the weekend. 
let's appreciate that for a moment....

I was thinking yesterday, as I enjoyed my Saturday, that when I ran the dairy I totttttally thought weekends were overrated.
Because I worked all the time. Duh.

You were right, they're not.
Boom.  I said it.
You.were.right.
Hey!  I admit when I'm wrong, okay?

Never mid that this is like, the only time.
Ever.
And you are across the internets.
Through the cables?
Sky?
.....atoms?
This conversation never happened.
Love,
ISleptThroughTechnologyClassInHighSchool.

I entitled this here post, "Getting it Together" because...well...that's what I have been doing.
With the animals!
I've, got it together...thankyouverymuch.

The cattle on the farm have been partying like it's...well ya know.
For entirely too long.
So I put a stop to it on the first day of the month, and dooped em all into a trap!
Hahahahahahaha!
Ha.

Actually, what happened was my oblivious honey agreed to help me work the cows/calves alongside Dr. K.
No prob.

Holy fazzoli, I am the proud mama of some legitimately bat-poo-crazy cattle.
We got them worked, and now all of their numbers and mental status' have been recorded.
The world can continue on course.

I can out virtually unscathed, except for the loss of a few pounds due to heat, however my loveysweetpetuniaofthevalley, hurt his knee.
I still can't wrap my mind around this because, after YEARS some experience working cattle I have no long-term  physical injuries.
The horse I owned for 2 HOURS?
That's another story.
We won't go there. Ever.
Especially by horse.

Once we got the cows/calves worked, we had to move and take inventory of the steers.
It was a situation.

Luckily, I hired a guy to work for me and he had no idea what he was getting into and he was ready to get things done!

Catching the steers involved building a corral and baiting them for a week with feed.
Nothin' doin'.

We got them caught last week and spent a day trucking them to another field...with grass.
This is important for a grass-fed finishing operation.
They were all out.

Now, they are swimming in the green, leafy-goodness!

That makes me smile:).

Let's just tell the rest in pictures, shall we?
I think so.

After a week of rain we finally had blue skies!


I didn't complain about the rain...it could be the other way around.
And trust me, if there was a drought, you would hear from this gal.

Upon moving the steers I had to take water troughs out to their new digs.
.....wait is that snapping?
.........behind me?

Boom.
Gangs of Greenback.
I don't know about you, but the dude in the middle looks like a bad mamma-jamma.
Moving on.

Did I mention it rained?
Oh, I did.
Well, did I mention that it's JULY, and when it stops raining it gets HE-YEUM-ID?
Well, it does.


I spent more time sweating than I did BREATHING.
Amen.

But, I did enjoy lunch on the veranda...er....the bed of the truck.

 

And enjoyed the view:)

Wow.

I had my first baby..well, not mine but ya know.

Isn't she a doll?!
I call her "Baby CRAZY Schnookums".


I needed to get some things done, so I taught myself how to drive this dude...

Ok, so when a person is ONLY used to driving skid steers made by John Deer or Bobcat, that person's world gets r-o-c-k-e-d.

You get in, turn it on, disengage the brake, and hold on because allofthesudden you're going forward, the bucket's dumping, you're beep-beep-beep-ing while evidently going backwards AND sideways atthesametime.
Then you let go of the joysticks and BREATHE re-group.

I so got it now, don't worry.

I had a few minutes in-between sweating and being a ROCK-STAR on the skid steer, so I took the kids on a nature hike!

Heh.
There will be a quiz this week.

That was pretty much my week, how was yours?


Love,
TheMechanicalGenius
CowLady

The Beast

 

Hiya!

See that peekchur up 'er?

That's us.  That's pretty much what we do.

Oh!  Except when we are swimming, or chasing the Cowlady in her farm truck around.

The farm truck.

Ay-yiy-yiy.

Picture, if you will, a 90's style Dodge diesel flatbed that sounds like it breathes FIRE.

Every teenage redneck boys d-r-e-a-m.

Annnnd it's a 5-speed...or does reverse count?  I never can remember.  If it does then it's a 6-speed, and we never had this conversation.

Sincerely,

My pride.

With every gear I hit, this baby bellers out something that sounds like a person who ate a polish sausage with fried onions at the county fair last night.  

CanIGetAnAmen!

The first time I drove it...Monday I think, I loaded up my companions....

I mean, who else would I possibly need?

They are thrilled.....and tongue-y.

But not mouthy.  Wait, the little brown one is.

Never mind.

SO I loaded up my girls, cranked the truck up, and BAM!

The farm truck became the farm BEAST.

...and I laughed all morning.

Laughed today as well.

...still laughing.

On a side note, 4th and 5th produce some SERIOUS  black exhaust.

Which brings me to a written apology I should probably write to the entire town of Greenback.

Population: 103.

It won't take long.

NO one shall sleep past 8am while the beast is on the loose!

Just kidding.

Beef farming is soooooo different from dairy farming.  You have no idea.  

Unless you do, then you understand andyoucanstoprightHERE.

But if you don't, all I can say is it's management by pasture rotation, organic mineral supplements and genetics through breeding bulls, instead of frozen semen. 

Kids, I'm just a dairy gal living in a beef world...taking lots of notes and asking questions.

Who says you can't reinvent yourself?

Pssshhhh!

God has lead me here and I know there's a reason.

It's challenging, every day is a challenge actually.  But what's so scary about that?

As long as I put my Faith and my family foremost in my life, I am positive I won't be lead astray.

There are so many people I have met and confided in along my route to this point, and the majority of them are no longer in my innermost circle.

Sad to say, but it's true.

I have learned so much from all of them, but there is a reason we grew apart.

Geographic, personality clash, or difference in values...it doesn't matter.  They have either helped me grow as a person, or hindered my forward progress.  Being able to recognize which category they fall into is a very valuable lesson my mother has taught me over the years.

I would always go to her with my problems and she, being wise and wonderful, would help me figure out what was going on.  

I see so many people who are spread thin...wanting to make everyone happy, but inside they are miserable.  That's no way to live.

Those people who really matter, will stay no matter what.  They see the value in your friendship and will pop-up out of nowhere when you least expect it, with an encouraging note or visit.

I used to try to make everyone happy, but in the end I had strayed so far from myself that I didn't even recognize 'me'.

Learning and accepting who I am, rebuilding my relationship with God, and surrounding myself with loving, supportive people, were the best things I ever did.

Every day I give the glory to God, work hard for my family and stay true to myself.

You know who you are, don't apologize for it...and don't change!

Farming might not be glamorous...especially when you are blazing down the road leaving a trail of black smoke a mile long...but it makes my heart smile.

That...that feeling is greater than any title, degree or accolade I can imagine.

Thanks for listening:).

Love,

CowLady

 

 

You're Doing What?.....

So.....there's this thing, and it feels very dejavu-ish. Totally not a word.
It's the "what I'm doing now" sort of thing, that I am pretty sure we visited with it 6 months ago.
Yeah, we did.

I'm doing something different now.
Job jumper.
NO! I'm NOT!

I don't know if you can tell, but I am a little sensitive as far as this subject goes.
Sensitive yet very excited.
And happy.
Did I mention happy?

I'm happy.

Anyway, last Monday I started a new job as the Herd Manager at Century Harvest Farms in Greenback, TN.
Like "herd" as in beef, not dairy like you may be used to.
Yeah, lots of beef pictures now peeps.

Contain your excitement.

Now for the exciting part....
Century Harvest Farms is brand new, progressive and the possibilities are endless.
Chris, my boss and the "man with the plan", started the farm to answer the need for grass-fed, organic beef in Tennessee.
He is all about sustainable agriculture, and taking care of soil and animals in a way that promotes health and longevity without chemicals and antibiotics.
See?  Told ya, progressive.

When he approached me with the job opportunity and started talking cattle, my heart jumped.
Like, really, the thought of taking care of a herd of cattle made my heart swell.
Immaweirdo.

I accepted the position, and when I told Glenn he genuinely got excited for me.
He will be my go-to vet:).

Right now, counting cows/calves/steers/bulls, I have around 150 head...maybe more.
I also have my work cut-out for me.  That's OK:).
This gal is no stranger to work.

I have a TON to learn, as far as the process Chris wants to use to do things, and the Organic way of raising cattle.
The research is endless.
But rewarding:).

Wanna see some pictures?!
It really doesn't matter, they are coming...

 

This...THIS is my view!
It's OK to be jelly:).
I kinda hate that word, but I love saying it.

This hill is where we will be building the first cow/calf barn, which is something we hope to begin in the next few weeks.
!!!!!
 

Zeeeessss are a few of my employees.
Aren't they lovely?

This big guy is Curly, he is going to be introduced to, like 80, girlfriends shortly.
Lucky guy.

This is what we do.
Red here, is the lifeguard, because they all listen to her.
Wonder why.

Eventually, all of the water sources, like the pool here, will be fenced off as well as any natural shade areas...trees, etc.
This will cause the cattle to come to the barn when they are hot, to find water, fans and shade.
They will also be fed there, and deposit manure there...instead of in the pool.
No one likes that kid.
Word.

The manure will be composted and used on the land.
Circle of life, people.

I am blessed beyond belief, and don't take one ounce for granted.
The question is, are YOU ready for this adventure?
I know I am:).

Love,
COWLADY
(Just.like.that.)

Fathers

Happy Fathers Day!!

Are you celebrating?
Grilling?Chilling? Napping? Remembering?

Whatever you may be doing, I sincerely hope it's wonderful:).
I will be seeing my father later this afternoon when we grill at mom and dad's to celebrate today, duh, and tomorrow which is his birthday!
(He will be 78, but I'm pretty sure he stopped counting when he had Mercy.)

I was thinking about all of the fathers in my life, and how they have had some affect on shaping my view on what it means to be a great dad.
I would like to share with you a few of them, and honor them for what they are doing and have taught me!

...drum roll pahleeeze...

First up is my brother (from another mother) Del!

Del is married to my seestor Malinda, so technically he is my brother-in-law.  But that takes too long to say.
Let's keep it simple, shall we?

I have always admired Del because he is the strong, silent type. 
He is so even-tempered and never seems to get his feathers ruffled.  I like that.  My feathers are always in disarray! 
Ever since they welcomed baby J into their lives, Del has filled the "daddy" role perfectly. 
Malinda has a very demanding job, not that Del doesn't, but hers required a move and a lot of snow!  Del has stood beside her the entire time...and enjoyed the snow entirely too much!  They make decisions together and they raise their boy together.  Jackson is a very lucky boy to have a daddy who wants nothing more than to lay outside on the hammock with him, or to push him on the swing. 
I admire Del for always jumping at the chance to spend time with Jackson, and being the rock Malinda needs to lean on:).

Daddy Saigon is another man I have a lot of respect for.

 
He is both my father-in-law, and the man I have deemed my "protector".
I feel like, and have honestly always felt like, he gets me.
Like the me no one else seems to understand.
The me who gets anxious in crowds.
The me who wants to cook everything perfectly.
The down right annoying me.

I have never had to explain my love for the farm and the land to him.
I have never had to explain anything to him.  He just understands.  He accepts.

I look at Saigon and I trust him, without question. 
I admire that in the way he presents himself and carries himself, people have that automatic reaction to him. 
He is a great listener and is slow to react, both of which are admirable traits as well.

Next is this guy.....

 

The absolute love of my life.
He is my everything.

He became a dad about the time I was graduating from high school....heh.
Snuck that one in there....

He is a great dad.  If you asked him he would be the first to say that he isn't perfect, but what dad is?
I have learned a great many things from my love, but the one parenting tip that reigns supreme is that it's a learning experience.  There's no manual, no magic trick to being a great parent.
He is harder on himself than anyone.  He wants Caden to know that he is loved and feel it at the same time. 

The last, but not least, father I would like to talk about is this fellow....

My dad.
From riding us around on his back around the sunroom like a "horsey" when I was a kid, to teaching me how to drive the old farm truck...and bobcat...and tractor...andotherstuff...he has taught me a lot.
I have spent some time thinking about this, and the biggest, most important lesson I have learned from my dad is that in order to get what you want in life, you have to work hard.
Every.Day.
He has. 
Maybe he hasn't always been the cuddliest of dads, or the easiest to talk to, but he has consistently been the hardest working for his family.  I didn't see him that much when we were little, because he was working.  Maybe I was afraid of him, since he was the end-of-the-line disciplinarian, but you know what?  That's the dad's role.  He is the leader, the example to follow.  Dad's aren't meant to always be buddies, pushovers.  They are meant to lead.  He did that.
I admire that in my dad. 

I love my dad, and all of the other dad's who have taught me something different.

Have a wonderful Sunday!
Love,
Me

Missing My Passion

Hiya!
I have decided to write this somewhat "random" post today because...ican'tgetawayfromit!
But, seriously.
I can't.
In at least half a dozen instances this week I have seen some form of the phrase, "Find what you are passionate about and do it!", and, "The key to success is figuring out what makes you happy and then making money at it!".
Soooooooo....I sort of feel like maybe this is already something I have written, like in my head.  Maybe predestined?
I'm not sure, but you're getting the raw end of the deal, I'm afraid.
:D.
Since I left the dairy last December and began working for Dr. K, I have had a lot of soul-searching time.
Let's all take a collective sigh.... 
Ready? 
To really understand what it means to be me, you have to first of all grasp the fact that I wake up and do life.  For real, I don't wait for things to happen, I do them.  I'm not a sit-and-wait-er.  I'm a dooooerrrr.
I get up, go to the gym-where if I don't sweat my ever-lovin butt off I am so disappointed.  After that I get ready for work and during the 30-minute drive I am anywhere from, how could I have a greenhouse in the backyard? to, I could totally do professional figure! 
Not impressed?  I'll go on...I really need to go on a mission trip, I wonder how long it would take me to get a degree in ______?, I should really be doing 2-a-day workouts.  When is the best time for me to start building my gardens for next year?  andonandonandon...
Maybe it sounds like I'm not settled...actually it does.  You're right.
I recently figure out the reason I love working for Dr. K.  I like helping him. 
That's it. 
It doesn't matter if I am billing his clients or dehorning 70 calves...I just like helping him. 
I feel like I have been given the opportunity to help someone with such great faith, and who helps so many others, that how could I not want to?
Once I wrapped my mind around why I like working for him, I realized that something is still missing.
That "passion" thing.
You know what that is?
It's cows.
Cows!
Fortheloveofallthatisgood...COWS!
How odd, right?
The fact that something...some animal..can work its way into your soul that you aren't truly complete without them, is kind of crazy.  Am I right?
Some, non-fetching, no-command-knowing, anti-cuddly creature makes me...me.
Maybe you knew that already.  I didn't.
I knew I would miss my cows, but not cows in general.
What a revelation!

Maybe I am meant to be a CowLady afterall:).
We'll see!

Love,
Me