Do YOU Milk the Cows?

Well...do you?

You call yourself a "herdsman" which means you must milk the cows..right?

OK...so of alll of the questions I get asked once someone learns that I dairy farm, this is ALWAYS the first.

"Do you milk the cows?"

To which I respond with a number of things:
-Why would we milk them?
-Like...by hand?
-ALL of them?
But the most popular is...No, I don't.

And it's true. I don't.
I have 3 people who do milk them, but me?  I just sit in my Italian leather, hand sewn seat in the temperature controlled office and watch them milk my cows via the cameras.
...And if you believe that, I don't know if our friendship can continue.

The funny thing is that when people ask me that question, all they give me time to say in response is "no, I ha-", before they lose interest.

This happens ALL the time.

It's like they think that if I am not the one milking the cows, then I am not actually a dairy farmer.
Pffffftttttt!

If I milked the cows then I probably wouldn't have this blog.
Why?  I would have nothing to write about.

You need a certain level of pent-up aggression/frustration in order to have something to write about...inmyopinion.

If I just had to come to work and milk 200 cows...nothing else..then my life would be pretty darn peachy.

No breeding, no treating, no pulling calves, no keeping up with cow records, no stressing over the ration they are eating, no watching heats, no feeding calves, no love/hate relationship with truck drivers, and no fear of being electrocuted by my flush pump.

See?!  Peachy.

That being said, if my workers walked out on me today, I would verymuch be milking the cows..and you would never hear from me again.
Happiness would go to the grocery store to get boxes and rent a U-Haul.

Now, if I needed to relief-milk, I would!
No problem.  I did in college. 
Not to mention I milk my "sick" herd every morning.

But milking twice a day every day, would give me very little time to do anythingelse.

While we are talking about milking, I wanted to take this opportunity to give you a tour of my parlor.... "Where the action happens".

It's nice.  There are some parlors that aren't, and I take pride in mine.

Okie-dokie, here we go...

Welcome to my parlor!

I snuck down there between groups, so it is currently in use.

Here we(meaning NOT me, obviously) can milk 24 cows at a time, 12 on each side.
Yes, there are much bigger parlors, some that even rotate on a carousel that milk 72 cows at once...wow!

However, mine is sufficient for my herd.
It is also very clean.

The cows are milked parallel to each other, meaning you hang the milker between their back legs, not to the side....that may be too technical.

Here's one miking unit.

 

Bam.

The "claw" is on the left.

It has no nails, totally safe.

The claw is hung on the teats, the milk then flows through the line, through the 'black thing with the round object', then through the 'blue and white thing', where it is weighed...

See?

That's the control board.

There is one for each unit.

The "25" is the milking code, as opposed to the wash cycle code"

The "7.7" is how long the claw hung on the cow, or how long it took her to milk.

The "58.8" is how much milk, in pounds, she gave.

The whole set up is automated.

All the milker has to do is push the silver button on the bottom right, and that starts the vacuum flow through the claw.

They then attach the claw to the udder, and the milk starts flowing.

Once the pressure sensors in the claw recognize reduced milk flow, the vacuum shuts off, and the claw detaches by itself.

Neat-o.

From the unit, the milk flows into the receiver jar..

There are two, one for each side.

The milk flows into the 'big silver canister', then is forced through the 'tall silver skinny thing'.

The 'tall skinny thing' has a VERY fine filter in it, which the milk is pushed through before going into the tank.

This catches anything, other than milk, that might have gotten into the claw.

The tank.

This mamma-jamma holds intheneighborhoodof 25,000 pounds.

It's a big dude.

We have 2(because we used to milk 500), but are currently only using one.

This tank, stirs the milk at regular intervals, and keeps it at 38 degrees.

I am currently shipping just under 23,000 pounds every other day.

23,000 alludes me.

This bad boy is my report card.

He makes or breaks me every.other.day.

So...do I milk the cows?

No, I don't.

I just make sure there are still cows to be milked:).

Thanks for taking the tour!

God Bless.

Love,

NonCowMilkingCowLady

What I Want

With Birthentines fast approaching, I have been asked by a few what I "want".

To which I always respond, "Oh...I don't know. I haven't really thought of anything".
..That's the helper in me coming out.

But it's true
Sitting here, right now, I don't want anything but a nap.

Sure, there's all kinds of things that I need, or could use for work.
There are loads of things that I would like to have to bake or cook with.
But what I want?  That's a different story.

-Let's start out with something easy...I want more hours in the day.
  After work yesterday, I only had time to go to the store, make sugar cookie dough, make peanut butter protein balls, eat dinner...and make 2 tissue paper flowers before I passed out.
Friday nights are thrilling for me.

I had a very full day at work, but still could have done more.

I'm not talking a bunch of hours...more like 2, or 3...that's all.

-Another big want on my list...I want to not be so tired at church.
  It's embarrassing. 
It totally makes me look like the person who is bored.
I'm not!!
There's just something about sitting still for more than fifteen minutes that causes my body to go into a coma.

Maybe I should stand...

-I want to make cookies and a cake and cupcakes for Valentines day...
  It's a disease.  A baking disease.

-I want peace of mind that the wedding will be wonderful.
  Everyone will have a great time.
My dress will be lovely.
The food won't break the bank.
The flowers won't catch fire.
Chuck will show up.
It will be warm, and not raining.

- I want to be known as a great herdsman.
  For real.  Life goal.
Aaaannnnndddd...make BossMan proud.  True.Story.

-I want to be better at checking up on people.
  You know, the 'how was the appointment/birthday/trip/etc ?' kind of thing.
I'm terrible at that.

-I kinda want to send Raj a 'thank you' note.
  But that's weird.

-I want to remember to be more outgoing...and nice.
  This may come as a shocker to you...but some people think I don't like them.
Let it sink in....

I don't generally yell at people in public, or ignore them purposefully.
I'm rather quiet, and NOT a phone-talker.

I wish I had a sign that read, "I'm not stuck-up, just quiet" for all of the amazing people that matter.
...All the other people will get the flip side that would read, "I'm glad you can't read my thoughts". 

-I want more opportunities to enlighten people on the dairy industry.
  Sometimes it gets a bad wrap, as far as animal rights organizations go.
I want people to know it's not like that.

-I want more pictures like this:)

Maybe I'll just ask for a new cookie scoop.
It seems easier.

Love,
SleepyCowLady

Betty the Biscuit Maker

If there is one thing I would like to be remembered for, it is my cooking.
Namely my southern comfort food cooking, because the majority of it requires no recipe.
I like to try new things and then read through recipes, eventually taking ideas from here and there until I have something of my own.

Don't get me wrong, there have been many failed attempts and I am no stranger to starting over.
I am pretty determined though, and typically will try and try until I succeed or Chuck gets sick.

One food item that I have just mastered are my biscuits.
Sure, I know you're thinking biscuits?
Yes, biscuits.

No respectable southern home is complete without fluffy, white biscuits.
I couldn't imagine putting gravy on sandwich bread!
That would be tragic.
We would send you to Idaho.

Anyway, I'm talking made-from-scratch, flaky, buttery biscuits.
NOT from a can.

Imma bit of a 'homemade' food brat.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with pre-packaged food!
Except that I don't like it.

I mean hey, I might use a box of brownie mix in a pinch...but I would rather not.
It's a mix, I don't know what they put in the mix!

Did you ever hear about that guy who opened his can of beanie-weenies and there was a persons thumb in it?
EEEEWWWWWW!

How could that happen?
It is for that reason that I hold my breath when I open a can of beans.
Thank you, beanie-weenie man.

So the ONE southern food staple that has alluded me until now?
It's the biscuits, man.

I have cornbread doooowwwwn.
Biscuits are a science, and I'm not talking 'drop' biscuits.
We are elbow deep in some AP flour and patting these bad boys out.

Simple ingredients; 3 C AP flour, 1 tblsp. sugar,1 tblsp. baking powder, 1/4 tsp. salt, 3/4 tsp cream of tartar.....
THEN you do what took me years to catch on to.
You take a cheese grater and grate 3/4 c of butter into the flour mixture.

DON'T you dare say it!
I can't believe you have been doing it this way forever and haven't told me!

The cheese grater method would have saved my past dinner guests a few teeth from misery.
Enter: hockey-puck biscuits.

Once you grate the butter in, you use your fingers to evenly distribute it into "pea-size" pieces.
Then, you quickly add 1 1/4 cups buttermilk until just combined.

Flour your work surface(go ahead and put a cup out there..you won't use it all but it keeps the dough from sticking to Edna), I use a big cookie sheet with a lip, welcome to apartment life.

Pour your dough out, DON'T roll it, just knead it a few times until it's not sticky..incorporating the flour a little at a time.
You want flaky, not hockey, so don't knead for more than a minute

Then, using your hands, shape it into a square, about 1/2 inch thick and cut your biscuits out.

After your biscuits are cut, REFRIGERATE!
You must wait.
You must refrigerate.

Put those warm, bad boys in the cool for about 30 minutes before you bake them.
They deserve the chill time!
Don't rob them of this.
Trust me.


450 degrees for 12-14 minutes and you can butter your biscuit and answer to Betty!

How do you make your biscuits?

Love,
BettyTheBiscuitMakinCowLady

My New Best Friend

Yesterday I had to come to work earlier than usual in order to help my milk tester.
See, my milk tester...we will call him Sal, because it sounds very movie-like.
Anyway, my milk tester-Sal, doesn't get around real well, so I come in and help him.
Imma real jewel like that.

Sal is a talker, but I'll be honest here and tell you that I only actually hear 35% of what Sal says.
Not because I'm not listening, but because his voice doesn't carry....and it's 4 am.

Sal was talkin' up a storm yesterday, and by the time we were finished with the first group of cows(112 of the ladies) it was time for me to take the cotton out of my ears and go feed calves.

So I did.
Duh.

Anyway, when I got back up to the dairy barn to help Sal with the second group, I noticed him sitting at my desk(I use th term "desk" very loosely), staring at my computer.

Me: "Uhhh...hey, whatcha doin'?"
Sal:  "Well, I was putting numbers in the computer and the darn thing just froze up on me!  So...I shut 'er down, and started it back up!"

-Now, I don't know how you feel about other people using your computer and "shutting her down", but IFreakedOutInside.

Shut 'er down?  Like pushed the button?  But WHY? "She" never freezes up on me in my dairy program! What.Have.You. DONE?!

(When the milk tester comes he has to enter the cows milk weights into the computer program called PCDART...just FYI.)

Maybe I was physically shaking, or maybe Sal could sense the volcanic activity inside me and decided to make a run for it before she blew!  Whatever the reason, he got up and stepped aside and let me have the controls.

I opened up PCDART and nothing.
No cow numbers.
No information.
No.Nothing.

That's YEARS of information on over 200 cows.

Breathe...BeNICE...Breathe...BeNICE!

I (calmly) looked at Sal and opened my mouth so that Minnie Mouse could say; "Why don't you go start the second group while I fix what you broke deal with this?"

Mmmmmk? Mmmmmmk.

When I started breathing again I called Raleigh, NC for some PCDART tech support.

Now, I am NOT racist, prejudiced, or ambidextrous...but the guy who answered had to have been Indian.

They open for business at 7 am, I called at 7 and he won the lottery.

I couldn't understand him at first, so I didn't know if I was calling the right place.
Instead of, oh I don't know..asking?  I let Minnie speak again...

Minnie:  "Hey, uh..ummmm, I'm having trouble with my PCDART this morning."
Guy who sounds like Raj from "Big Bang Theory": "O, and what trouble do you seem to be having?"

So I told Raj what Sal did, in a way as to convey the fact that I didn't think Sal and Bill Gates ever shared the same office.

Raj: "O.K., what kind of operating seestem do you have? Microsoft, WindowsXP...?"
Me:  "A.C.T.ually, it's windowsvista....."

Raj:  "..........................................and who am I speaking with?"
Me:  "Rachael the last Windows Vista owner on earth."

Raj:  "siiiiiiigggghhhhh...............O, Rashal,Rashal,Rashal."
I felt bad for waking up that morning.

Raj:  "Rashal, you koll me at seven in da morning, before my koffee, and you bling me weendows veesta junK."

Me:  "I'm sorry."
Yes, I apologized to the tech support guy.
He made me feel like I totally did something I shouldn't have done.

Raj: "Raaaaaashallllll, veesta is not a good seestem.  I should not have come to work today.  But I will see if I can feex it."

So, I downloaded a program that made him able to be on my computer while I watched and got a little seasick from watching the mouse move around.

Then, I left and helped Sal, who did not say one.word.

I felt like a mom.

When I returned to the office, I looked at my computer and my PCDART was up and running!
Wooohoooo!

I won't lie, I danced.
You've never seen moves like mine, trust me.

In the middle of my moves, Raj called me back.

Me: "YOU are my new best friend!"
Raj:  "Rashal, we kant be freends.  You bling me weendows veesta."

I feel positive that I can win him over though.

Love,
ComputerIlliterateCowLady

36 Days

...Until the wedding!

Have you made the 75 tissue-paper flowers that I asked you to make?
What?  Yes, yes I did.
Of course I didn't forget! 
I specifically asked you to make tissue paper flowers after you finish hand-stitching my veil.
Now, chopchop!

MustIDoEverything?!

Let's be honest here for a second...I have ZERO motivation to make tissue paper flowers.
Having said that be prepared for The Heat to freeeeaaaakkkkk ooooouuuuuttttt....

It's OK mom, I'll do it.

Other than that I kindasortaalmost think things are together-ish.
It's that kind of confidence that keeps me going...

I have been mentally occupied this week with work and haven't really had time to do much else, including talk to you fine people...I apologize.

My favoritedogherdingcousinAmy came to town and I got to eat de-licious sushi with her!

Do you like sushi?
I do, it's like edible art.
...and you can eat it too.
Heh.

Chuck farmed three times in the past week, and even brought Caden out yesterday!

I had Caden feed my newest addition, the little black-baldy who 'appeared' in my calving barn under the heat lamp one morning.
...things like that happen.

The little guy didn't like me at first...the calf not Caden.
Then I made him love me by showing him that I am his only source of food...the calf not Caden.
Then I accidentally kicked him in the head with my poopy boot...Caden not the calf.
...It's a long story, but there were no tears.

I also have been baking/cooking up a storm lately.
Brisket, cheesy grits, cakes and cookies oh my!

The brisket changed my life.
It will change yours too...no lie.

I am in the process of getting my pictures uploaded then I will share with you the ways of the beef.
The cakes and cookies are courtesy of a couple of blogs I have been reading: Sweetapolita and David Lebovitz.

Davids' Chocolate Chocolate-Chip cookies are to die for!  So easy too...they have that perfect crisp/shiny top and gooey center...so good.

Little Man J had a great first birthday and loved his 'corn popper' that hisFAVORITEauntRachael got him!
Play your cards right and there might be a 'corn popper' in your future:).

ANYway, I think those are my updates as of now...

Beenie and I have another meeting in Athens today, and cannot wait to see what kind of chicken they will have for our lunch;).

Pins and needles I tell ya.

Love,
ChickenEatingCowLady

The Future Farmer

This post goes out to the future farmer out there.

The sippy-cup toting, da-da-da-da saying, little one.

The little fella, just learning to walk who, if you cock your head to the side and squint a little, you can imagine him on a horse out checking the cattle.
..With his heeler "Blue".
..And his chinks and spurs on.

The toddler just learning to get around on his own who can hold his own bottle, or maybe that's a calf bottle he's holding for a really hungry little Jersey baby?
...Smiling, always smiling.

The one who might one day show his own calf in Little Britches, all by himself.

He might not be a farmer, he might be a Dentist or perhaps Minister?
He might tell his mom he is going to be a "racecar driver" when he grows up.

No matter what, he will change the world...you hide and watch.

But for now he will just turn one.

Happy First Birthday Jackson!

Love,
YouBestBudAuntRachael

Farming: Better Than Couples' Therapy

Hey! It's February!
Woot!

I know I am supposed to announce the EOM right now, but that will have to wait.
Because I can do that.
Because it's my blog.
BecauseISaidSo.

Anyway, so it's February!
Which means it's a short month, meaning we are thatmuch closer to.....
A.  March
B.  A weddin'
C.  Me turning 29
D.  All of the above.

If you didn't pick "D" then you need more sleep.

The countdown to the BeachWeddingExtravaganza2012 is in the 40's now folks.
Get.Ready.

February is also my favorite month because it's Birthentines month.
That's right...Birthentines.

The day of my birth happens to be the day following myfavoritedayeva...Valentines Day!
Thus Chuck...poor Chuck..has dubbed it "Birthentines".
He gets a double-whammy.  Feel bad for him.

Speaking of Officer Cutie, did you know that he joined me on the farm the past two days?
Chyeah he did.  T-W-O days.
He survived.  I survived.  I call that success.

Chuck "farmed" from 1-3 on Monday, and 1-4 yesterday.
He is easing his way into it...like freezing water I reckon.

I am at work very early in the mornings, so I get most of my "inside the barn" work done before lunch.
In the afternoons I am typically out starting the pump, bringing in cows, moving dry cows, pulling calves, cleaning hutches, etc.
Whatever needs to be done outside, I am doing it.

This is the perfect time for Chuck to come, because he would rather be outside.

Monday was not a terribly busy day.

He showed up and ended up volunteering to carry a calf into the barn for me I made him do it!

He only got a little bit muddy, as you can see in the picture, so no harm done.

Kirra, my trusty farm hand, was with us most of the time and she and Chuck got along great.

My low group of cows was outside so we went to bring them in, and Chuck worked with Kirra and her herding while I rounded up the rest of the group.

We moved a dry cow up and sat and watched a cow calving, while enjoying the sunshine.

Yesterday was a different story.

My honey came to help and I told him we needed to bring a cow in who looked like she was having a calving issue.

We found out the calf had his hooves curled up, which was causing him to get hung up on his way out.
I showed Chuck how to use the calf-jack and we quickly cranked that long-legged bull out into the world.

Momma didn't appreciate the photo op.
We then moved a few calves into hutches and got ready to feed.

While we fed calves my blood sugar hit a record LOW, and I considered killing the next thing to cross my path.
...I was hoping it would be a Keebler Elf.

After feeding the 37 calves and 45 cats, I noticed not one but TWO more heifers trying to calve.
Find the happy place.

The Jersey had been trying a bit longer and needed some help, so into the barn she went!

Chuck helped me pull the calf and then we made sure the newborn could breathe, by causing the baby to "sneeze" and blow the mucus out of his airway.

We left the mommas with their babies, and I briefly considered crying when gave me the "are we going to pull the other one?" look.

Sure, after I eat 7 Twinkies.

Because I love Chuck, and because I want Chuck to continue to love me, I ordered Eddie to keep an eye on the one in the field so that I could get some sugar into my system.

One thing is for certain, Chuck is a quick learner.
I would say he could pull a calf if need be, and could very well do all of the things that I do.
...Except breed cows.  We ALL know he wouldn't do that.

I never assumed that he would actually want to help on the farm, and I wasn't going to expect him to either.

The fact that he does lets me know tha the supports me and what I do.
That maybe one day he will do even more...maybe it will even become second nature.
Who knows?

I mean, my crime-fighting instincts weren't fully realized until I met him.
Now I'm his partner, out keeping peace on the mean streets.

I do know one thing, the more time we spend together the deeper or roots grow.
One day, not even the hardest wind will make us bend.

Love,
AppreciativeCowLady